It’s interesting what happens when I’m presented with a whole weekend of no plans. I am totally free to do whatever it is my fleeting thoughts desire, but, invariably, I end up being rendered completely inert by analysis paralysis.
Take this weekend for example: Friday through Monday (my job involves the observation of New Year’s as a Holiday, so no work for me) with no plans set whatsoever. My significant other has spent all weekend blitzing through a fresh play-through of Kingdom Hearts. Believe it or not, I am extremely envious of her. For you see, I, on the other hand, have muddled through a few hours of Final Fantasy VII, finished some side-quests in Etrian Odyssey Untold, watched a few random YouTube series of various games and whatnot, and played with my cats.
That’s about it.
Now, you may think to yourself “that doesn’t sound so bad, pretty standard weekend”, and to some degree I agree with you. The issue however, is that I want to accomplish things in my spare time. I want to conquer worlds, finish up on various streams of content that I’m partially through, and get that amazing sense of self-achievement in actually finishing something.
You’re an adult (probably), so I’m sure I don’t need to go into a detailed discussion of how freaking impossible that is to do on weekdays. Social relationships, work, taking care of oneself and your family, chores... all of these things add up to just throwing away any grandiose plans by default.
Which leads me back to a whole weekend of no plans. There’s no external factors prohibiting me from choosing a set course, and executing it. No, the issue is entirely internal and it drives me insane sometimes. For those unaware, here is the idea behind analysis paralysis, per Wikipedia:
Analysis paralysis, or paralysis by analysis, is the state of over-analyzing (or over-thinking) a situation so that a decision or action is never taken, in effect paralyzing the outcome.
I’ve written about my own perceptions of the barriers to entry for RPGs before, and I have numerous articles, blips, and ideas about conquering one’s backlog of content and games. In this new year however, it’s time to come forward with the honest truth: I am my own barrier to entry for accomplishing things. This weekend I’ve had 50+ hours to do whatever I wanted. Yet, when faced with so many different desires and weighing their outcomes, my decision chain constantly fades into obscurity. Eventually, I cop out and choose a mini-series, just throw on a game to fool myself into thinking I’m doing something noteworthy (Clicker Heroes is notorious for this), or just browse social media.
Yet here I am, complaining about this issue while actively avoiding doing anything to solve it. I’ve tried being organized with lists or just randomly choosing a game and committing to it, but it almost always ends up with the same conclusion with me being either unable to fully commit, being disinterested in my available options (for no good reason), or coming up with excuses of why “that particular game” isn’t a good choice right at this moment.
I feel like I’m in a slump, yet I also know that making some sort of “Rer’s Reasonable New Year’s Resolution” would end up with either frustration, or outright rejection.
In a ironic sense... I’m unsure of what to do about being unsure of what to do. Anyways, I should probably get some sleep. Thanks for indulging this stream of consciousness of mine. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll figure something out. In the meantime, what are your thoughts on the subject?
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RerTV is a small-time YouTuber and Streamer who enjoys writing #FeelsGoodMan posts about gaming. He strives each day to spread awareness of the positivity gaming can bring to ourselves and society, and hopes you’ll join the conversation. Find him on Twitter: @RerTV.