NOTE: The following article is translated from Japanese.
TOKYO – Team NINJA Studio, a division of Tecmo Koei, announced today yet another delay in the release of the highly anticipated third installment of Xtreme Beach Volleyball, a spin-off of the popular Dead or Alive series.
At a standing-room-only press conference, Team NINJA managers Yosuke Hayashi and Keisuke Kikuchi addressed reporters and answered questions regarding the latest in a series of controversial setbacks.
"We sincerely regret disappointing the countless devoted fans of the Xtreme games," said Hayashi, looking solemn and remorseful. "But I want to assure you all that completing this game is our top priority, and we are only taking longer than expected to ensure that it is perfect in every way we can make it."
"Xtreme 3 is a passion and labor of love for all who are involved," said Kikuchi. "Our team works tirelessly on every detail. At all levels, we have our most talented people working exclusively on this game. And many have sacrificed so much – vacations, holidays, and time with their wives – to devote themselves fully to their work."
"How do you explain the cause of the latest delay?" asked one reporter.
"As we have said before about the previous delays, in addition to gameplay, we truly care about making a beautiful looking game," explained Kikuchi. "Without exaggeration, thousands of hours have been spent by our designers and artists on research alone."
"We have exhaustively studied every angle of this game. Xtreme 3 will have the most versatile camera ever made. And we have invested great time in the little things – the way the sun shines off freshly oiled skin, how sweat beads and drips down a soft and supple body, and that special way that dry, hot sand sticks to a moist, tight stomach."
Hayashi and Kikuchi were asked to respond to rumors reported on popular gaming websites that the repeated delays have caused tensions between Team NINJA and executives at Tecmo Koei.
"We are grateful to Tecmo Koei's Chairman Kakihara and President Erikawa for their complete and unfaltering support of this project," responded Hayashi. "In fact, they personally attend many of our design meetings, and they are involved and up-to-date on every decision, big and small."
"It is a rare privilege to have such important senior executives involved in the day-to-day details of development, but it just goes to show you the support and commitment of our leaders at Tecmo Koei."
At this point in the press conference, the lights in the room dimmed, and the Team NINJA managers directed the audience's attention to the floor-to-ceiling projector screen which began to play a promotional video of the upcoming game.
In a five-minute montage, the video showed the exotic, beautiful women of the Dead or Alive series clad in scant, tight, two-piece bathing suits, as they dived and jumped for volleyballs, playfully splashed ocean water on one another, gently and very slowly rubbed lotion on their own and each other's bodies, leaned down seductively with their chests forward, sunbathed face-down without their tops, and encouraged each other excitedly with hugs and pats on each other's carefully proportioned bottoms.
At the conclusion of the video, the Team NINJA managers nodded while listening to the hums of approval from the audience.
"So… does anyone want to watch it again?" asked Kikuchi. "Let's watch it again."
Let's go to the beach at email@example.com.