I'll admit it. I'm not the best cook out there. But give me a recipe and enough ingredients and I'll work wonders. Give me nothing, and you'll get nothing. Give me something confusing and, well...you'll get chicken alfredo.

A little backstory first: I was craving pasta and asked for my mom's chicken alfredo recipe. She's a wonderful cook, one of the best in all our family, but she doesn't use any recipes. She just estimates. So the recipe she sent me was mostly a series of guesses.

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Plus she never proof-reads anything. So just for fun, I'm going to post her original recipe.

Sause recipe:

4 Tbs- 14 cup cup or less little of soy sauce. 1/2 cup lemur juice. 1/4 cup veg. oil tsp of minced garlic. More.

Chicken

Sprinkle garlic. Powder and salt then a 1/4 tsp thyme herb. and about 1.2 cup or less brown sugar. Use 3 or 4 chickens cubed. Cook in skillet on med. hit check constantly.

Oh dear. Where to start? OK, well first the sauce. Since I'm cooking for just me (with plenty of leftovers) i'm taking more conservative interpretations of the recipe. Also, I'm using wooden spoons because they make it look like you know what you're doing.

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First off, start the sauce by putting 1/4th cup of soy sauce in a pan. Add 1/2 cup of lemon juce and 1/4th cup of vegetable oil. Throw in about tsp of minced garlic into the mix and...wait...

This isn't alfredo sauce! It's the marinade for the chicken! Well crap. Pour the marinade into a skillet. Go out and buy some alfredo sauce and warm it in the pan. Put it on a low-mid temperature setting and stir every once in a while with a wooden spoon.

Cut up some chicken breast into nice little chunks and throw them in with the marinade. Sprinkle on some garlic powder on top. (The amount depends on how much you like garlic) Add in 1/4th cup or less of thyme as well as 1/3rd cup of brown sugar. The sugar should add a bit of a sweet aftertaste to the chicken to help counteract some of the lemon, so make sure you don't add too much. Turn up the heat to medium and stir it all together with a wooden spoon. Be sure to chop any big chunks down to size.

It takes about 30 minutes to cook the chicken to perfection, so go ahead and boil some water for the pasta. This recipe usually serves 2-4 people, so make sure you get enough pasta for everyone! I used egg noodles since they were all I could find at the store. Cook and drain them as you normally would.

Once the chicken is about done, drain the excess marinade. Cook it on a low-mid temperature until it is completely cooked. Check to see if the sauce is completely warmed. If so, go ahead and get a plate! You're good to go! just get a plate of pasta, scoop plenty of chicken on top(with a wooden spoon), and put the sauce on top. Dig in!

So um...here's the deal. The alfredo sauce sucks and my noodles were pretty soggy and gross. But the chicken turned well! The chicken recipe is pretty versitile and can be used for other pastas, chicken quesadilla, or just whole chicken breast. But as for the whole thing...you're probably better off ordering a pizza.