See that guy! Yes, that guy right there. That’s Bronan, he’s a Brobarian.

Now being a Brobarian is tough work. The come at me bro attitude, and refusal to wear shirts, can make certain things quite difficult. Conquering the Lords of Cinder however, well that was almost like bonging a beer. Except it’s more of a vat.... and he had to take a breath a few dozen times.

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Bronan had a rough night partying and woke up in some hick cemetary covered in ash. From such humble beginnings, he went on an adventure through out the land, slaying some pretty horrid dudes along the way.

The Firelink Shrine became such a happening place once Bronan came a knocking. People from all over the place became bros to the Brobarian. Except for this one dude from Londor, who wanted to “hollow” him? This “hollowing” sounded kinda lame, and the dude was such a letdown that he just sat there and died...

The Brobarian wielded the mighty Brollowslayer Greatsword. A sword of such might, that nearly no evil bro could withstand the barrage of blows it delivered. It was accompanied by the Bro Bow of Pharis, which is great for picking off lame-os from a safe distance or issuing a bro-off challenge. He was assisted in reinforcing his weapons thanks to Blacksmith Brodrei. He’s a pretty awesome dude.


The Brobarian had two main bros who assisted him throughout his journey.

Onion BRO!

Siegbro of Catarina, he was an awesome bro! He helped introduce the He always offered a drink, and cared so little of danger, he napped in the middle of an enemy fortress. He even helped the Brobarian taking out this giant fella named Yhorm.

A true Brodette!

Sirris of the Sunless Realms was a pretty slick brodette. Coming out of nowhere, the Brobarian met her at the shrine. Wanting to clear her family’s name, Bronan had no issue with that. She helped the Brobarian take down these Abyss Bros. Those bros were messed up in the brain or something. Fighting each other while we are trying to have fight...the nerve of them. She also helped him deal with the Prince bros, who were blood bros. Even with their combined broness, they still could not outbro the Brobarian. The Brobarian even helped her take out her crazy grandbro.


The Brobarian has some honorary Bros (and a dishonorary bro) he wishes to acknowledge for how awesome of a bro there were to fight.

He knows how to make an entrance!

To the Nameless Bro who rides on a kickass wyvern. Your fight was most righteous! Fighting on the clouds! May your lightning strike fear into the hearts of those who you face.


Cool look bro!

To the Bro of Cinder DUDE! That fight was off the hook! Your arena was tight, and your different styles were just awesome! The Brobarian can’t wait to fight you again!


Now for the dishonorable bro! Pontiff Sulyvahn!

If only saying chill worked...

This dude needs to learn the meaning of “CHILL”. This dude was such a downer! He would just not let up. He even forced the mighty Brobarian to use a *shudder* shield... For that, Pontiff Sulyvahn is now forever on the Brobarian’s shit list!


So what’s next for the Brobarian? I hear, he’s ready for the adventure all over again. This time, he’s feeling pretty daring. This time, he’s going to be using his fists (Caestus and Dark Hand) to get the work done. I’ll see if I can stream/record the gameplay.

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