It’s that time of year again. When the gaming industry likes to dust off their crystal balls and speculate on what exciting news will be announced at the Electronic Entertainment Expo 2017. We all have our dream announcements, but I’m sure we also have our impossible announcements. The news that we would be very happy to hear, but in our heart of hearts we know will never come.

I’d like to run through a few of these that came to mind in the days leading up to E3. I hold no illusions. There’s a better chance of me discovering the cure for stupid, then for any of these becoming reality.

Battlefront 2 - Republic Commando DLC

At first I thought that a new Republic Commando game would be great. But a terrible idea for EA, who’s already juggling multiple FPS games as it is. But what about a Republic Commando single player story DLC for Battlefront 2? *sigh* Who am I kidding? Battlefront 2 isn’t even out yet. We will be seeing plenty of it at EA’s press conference. But the only kind of DLC they’ll be highlighting is pre-order and special super awesome deluxe edition only skins for multiplayer.

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Only my imagination allows me to dream of playing through Delta squad’s exploits during the entirety of the clone wars. I would even settle for a short survival game, where you play as Sev, desperately fighting for his life on Kashyyyk until the rest of Delta comes back and saves him. Alas, EA, DICE, Story DLC? That’s like oil and water, or me and a social life.

Bethesda Partners with inXile Entertainment for a new Isometric Fallout Game

Pete Hines takes the stage and says he has a little surprise for us. A Fallout related surprise. The crowd goes wild. Pete continues by saying that Bethesda won’t be developing it. The crowd goes into “holy shit” mode, already jumping to the conclusion that Obsidian is manning this ship. Pete, not able to mention Obsidian by name says, It’s not who you think it is. A mixture of “waahhh?” and “awww” resonates from the crowd. “Please welcome to the stage, Brian Fargo of inXile Entertainment.” The crowd takes a collective deep breath to scream at the top of their lungs and that’s when I wake up. I realize it was only a dream and my boxers feel awfully moist.

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It’s pretty clear Bethesda doesn’t want the Fallout brand to be associated with the old school gameplay of the first two games anymore. I imagine to them that would be a downgrade. It’d be like taking their baby, The Elder Scrolls franchise and reducing its complexity into a card game or someth- oh wait. Even so, what if the game ends up being critically acclaimed? “The way Fallout should be. Fuck Bethesda.” - No Mutants Allowed member. What if against all odds, it ends up being a major commercial success as well? We’ll be mocked!

Armored Core 3 and Nexus are Remastered and Released on PC

SEGA has braved the bees and extracted the honeycomb. Now they can say that they’ve tasted the sweet sweet honey that is the PC player base. My hope is that more japanese companies start to see that there is money to be made on the PC market. More and more people are adopting PCs as their main gaming device. People have realized that you can take almost any old controller and plug it into your computer.

I’m specifically addressing FromSoftware here, but all publishers and developers need to make sure that these are quality ports. The PC community does not take kindly to half assed ports. Make sure your product is up to snuff and you will be well rewarded, otherwise prepare to be boinked.

FromSoftware has expressed interest in making a new Armored Core game and I think that this would be a great way to reawaken interest in the franchise. “From the makers of Dark Souls” will no doubt be in the trailer, as it should. Unfortunately this isn’t happening. Armored core 3 and nexus? Yeah… no. If they’re going to remaster anything, it’ll be 5 and verdict day. I didn’t like 5 all that much, so much so that I skipped verdict day. I will take 4 and For Answer though, I loved For Answer.

Star Wars RPG set in the Sith Empire

I know. EA. I know. I just think it’d be cool to see first hand what sith society is like. Though they often were, the Sith weren’t always embroiled in civil war. It doesn’t necessarily have to be an RPG, but that’s a genre that lends itself to really getting into the nitty gritty of lore. If Maxis was still around I may have even suggested The Sims: Korriban. I was thinking it could take place just before or during the great hyperspace war. Another idea is the make the player character be Darth Bane, the Sith’ari himself. Darth Bane is canon after all. The story can be about his rise to power, the Jedi–Sith war, and the establishment of the rule of two… Yeah… That’d be cool…

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So what do you think? What would make you squeal like a pig with excitement, but you know that you’ll only be setting yourself up for heartbreak if you start hoping for it?

Papito Qinn is the winner of the 2016 SpookTAYcular Scary Story Contest, and a twitter incompetent. “I tweet a tweet in times gone by. When hope was high and E3 worth watching.”