Quick review: game is good, port is terrible, and the story is insanely bad(music is great though). Imagine a game like FF 5 where characters get unique skills but no mixing and matching to make stronger characters. War crimes against storytelling shall be judged!

Wakkas

The Wakkas are just terrible.

Ace

The wiki describes Ace as "said to be the primary protagonist of Class Zero." Seriously, they need a modifier on that description. An affront to protagonists everywhere.

Hamlet, Spiderman, Sherlock Holmes, and Ace. Who doesn't fit in that list?

Machina

Though almost equally as terrible having a stupid role means at least he has a role. Machina is here to be the emo punk who feels bad about stuff in the story. Every so often he has to leave to cry alone. Loves Rem, for some reason. Deep inability to shut the fuck up.

Cinque

Though this low for purely combat reasons, still she has a move that stuns the enemies but makes her fall over. What in the fucking fuck?

Nine

It's like having a stoned version of Jesse from Breaking Bad in your party, yo.

Blands (think any player character in original Final Fantasy)

Rem

Sadly she should have been with the Wakkas, but god if she isn't forgettable. She's a main character!

Jack/Queen/King

It's like as they got to the end of their quota they just sort of gave up.

Trey

He's the smart one.

>.< (I'm doing this as hard as I can.)

Eight

Also boring but is the Monk of the group.

Faris Level Awesomeness

The following characters are so awesome it literally hurts. Any one of them should of been worked in as the main character. I've decided that there's another more interesting story going on these characters are a part of, where they solve mysteries. Also here's a bit of the soundtrack. This game isn't "bad bad" but hey buddy is it weak in parts. The music is not one of them though.

Cater

There's something about Cater. Shoots first, asks questions never, cause she's dumb. But cool-dumb, not Ace-dumb. Sadly like all ranged characters she can miss, a lot. She's better than Trey though. Trey impression: "Charging, charging, almost there, charging a bit more, and fire!" *miss*

Seven

Very cool. She has a sword that's actually a whip. Also she's basically Lightning without being a main.

Sice

The scythe user. As awesome as you would expect, I mean look at that cape. She also steals power from enemies as she fights them which makes her scythe glow red. Then, she releases it as an evil maelstrom of "I give zero fucks."

Batman Levels of Awesomeness. Please evacuate, too much awesomeness. You have been warned.

Deuce

There can be only one. Deuce is A) capable of totally crushing the mightiest of foes and B) does so while prancing around playing the flute, possibly the hardest instrument to play. When she's not decimating her enemies she's healing and buffing her compatriots, solving geopolitical conflicts, and defending her championship belt from all takers.

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That's it. The characters are basically an exercise in "less-is-more" but it works better for some. People interested in story and character take that one to heart. Also try not to have your story be an intangible mess. That helps too.

What's next, rating the moogles?

Psychic moogle wins, no contest.