Every now and then you run into a chunk of free time. Sometimes you might have an exorbitant wait on a delayed flight. Maybe you’re stuck with no way of avoiding an 8 hour car journey.

Perhaps, like me, you’re in the process of moving into a new place, and you like to give yourself a few days to acquiesce and become familiar with its annoying and bold new quirks. What I’m trying to say is that free time comes along a lot more often than we tend to give it credit for.

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So I’ve had a few days off of work in order to facilitate this new move, and as such I’ve had periods of extreme downtime. My PC is setup, my PS4 is ready to go and Splatoon 2 is begging for attention. Yesterday morning I decided that I would focus a lot of my time on Splatoon 2's ranked mode, and very quickly found that I’d been skipped from Rank C- to B- (Tri-Splosher is broken. Easy EXP.) That was an awesome whole 3 ranks skipped because I’d done so well! Nice!

Now this is the stupid part; to celebrate this newfound glory, I decided that I would put effort into a decent post on the game’s new “Miiverse-Esque” post feature. This required planning, knowhow and patience. It’d take an hour tops, I told myself. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

I also have a friend who I adore to a fault who I desperately wanted to prank (and impress, duh.) Fuck me, I made the worst mistake on the planet. We have this in-joke that evolves around the WhatsApp Moonface emoji and daft, often mundane captions.

I don’t expect a single soul to understand these. Don’t worry.

We also have a second joke that involves the Splatoon 2 map called “The Reef.” On The Reef, each side has a single vehicle parked just out of the way of the opposing team, and every game we would rush to this car and aim to be the first to paint it. Anyway we’re play-fighting on Twitter and it leads me to shoot this tweet at her:

So naturally, my plan was to translate that moon emoji and our stellar, joint sense of impeccable humour into a Splatoon 2 post, play her in a game of Regular Battle in order to get my character into her Inkopolis Square, and ask her if she could see the post on my character. Easy FUCKING PEASY, right?

I am not so proud of what I did.

People inevitably died during its creation.

I had to download a 7 day Photoshop Trial to facilitate this daft 5 HOUR TIME SINK.

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I really hope you guys are ready, and are avid users of iOS and WhatsApp emojis. Because I swear to God, this emoji will rule the world.

FIVE HOURS, DUDES.

Five. Unholy. Hours.

If you saw Mike Fahey’s article on hyper-realistic Splatoon art, you’d realise that I had to input, by hand, every single pixel on that smug little face, using only the buttons on my Switch joy-cons. The battery cycled a time and a half during its creation. I could have done anything else, and instead chose to create this thing.

The heartbreak came from the fact I was scared halfway through that quitting Splatoon 2 or even dropping my connection would boot me from the art screen and erase all of my progress, so I opted to do this in one sitting, ride or die.

And yeah. I literally just... Wanted people to know that this thing is currently out there.

Damnit, Kayla.