Ladies and gentlemen, welcome — to my words! You know, it has been quite some time since I last made a post about making meals the manly way. Now, behold, for my stomach yearns for the ever sumptuous chicken, and you all, must indubitably, have an appetite for ... what I am about to eat. Or something.

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Chicken Time!

This time, things will be different. This time, I will be providing glorious pictures to accompany the meal I am about to create! So give witness to the glory that is my food, and me. Because I took an atrocious amount of selfies and I am ashamed...

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Ingredients:

  • Chicken
  • Flour
  • Seasonings
  • Eggs
  • Bravery


Step 1: Gather eggs and seasoning in one container, and flour and seasoning in another, so that way we can coat the chicken in the essence of her offspring and cover it in . . . flour. This is for tastiness reason and most certainly not because I'm a barbarian.

Step 2: Become Dragonborn! It is imperative that we do this as intimidation is the spice of cooking when I cook!

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Step 3: Round up any spare chicken you might have lying about and prepare it for deliciousness!

Step 4: Promptly spill your breading all over the stove.

Step 5: Grab chicken and throw it in the baste and the breading before destroying it with our friend —

Step 6: The Deep Fryer! This deep fryer is maxed out in temperature and it does not require any kind of oil in order to cook. We remove any oily substance from the fryer and replace it with Liquid Pain! Liquid Pain cooks the chicken in its own screams while we scream at it!

Step 7: Scream at the chicken!

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Step 8: Consume the chicken!

Well, ladies and gentlemen. There you have it. A manly meal made by a manly man that cooks it the only way he knows how — through attrition!

Obligatory chicken celebration picture!