Changes:

  • Random Number Generator (RNG): In case you didn’t notice there’s now a random number generator inside the spreadsheet! Simply find the proper number to enter from the list underneath the RNG and enter it in the bright pink box and then hit enter! The generator will spit out a number - compare to the “success numbers” in the table and see if you’ve won! For percent chance under 50% it will even tell you if you’ve won! Wheeeee! Ask me for further details if it still doesn’t make sense.
  • I owe Walfisch an apology for messing with his numbers and I kept telling him we were dead when what he was doing was right. You’re only dead if you START the day with negative numbers. Negative numbers can be fixed prior to day’s end. Think of it as the monster attack is the last thing to happen on a day, so any healing is done prior to the monster attack. Hope this helps clear some things up. Also, sorry again walf!
  • I’m going to less and less look at people’s spreadsheets. This is the last week I’ll helpfully remind you to roll for your RNG’s. So if you have an item or a skill that does a percent chance to X, you’re on your own starting next week. If you forget it’s on you! Mwahahaha
  • Pay attention to STORE PRICES. I mess with them based on how easy/difficult I feel the game is going. I still haven’t messed with potion prices and I’m glad I didn’t as I had to buy several this week. :D
  • The boss this week does RANDOM DAMAGE. I finally figured out how to do static random numbers! However, make sure that your spreadsheet is behaving as it should. If things are acting strange let me know.

OK let’s see how this AMAZING story is unfolding. PS. I promise to never subject you to that sort of impossible TomFoolery again!

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The small, vicious child pulled her two siblings away grunting. She snarled at the group, “You haven’t seen the last of us!” (editor’s note: no, you probably have, that was a cluster*&@)

The trio limped away and the group of adventurers was too battered to follow, content to glare at them menacingly as they disappeared over the ridgeline.

When the three small children were out of sight, the group collapsed in a heap. They’d failed to defeat the three and had barely managed to escape with their lives. They decided to spend the night in Grandpa’s cabin, much to his chagrin.

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The following morning the group convened at the large oaken table in the center of the one room cabin. The table had been made in 1403 AD by Johan Vindersmit, a prospector who had found the lumber in the ancient forests of ....(12 pages of Robert Jordanesque exposition on the table later). The effect of the spell had begun to wear off on Grandpa and his left arm and right leg as well as his mouth had all reverted to human form. He had to crawl to the table and hoist himself up to the chair. When everyone was seated, he began talking.

“It began some years ago, when I was working as a coal miner in the mountains of Mordor. One day we were hauling coal when a buddy of mine found this strange book. Working in the mines is dangerous work as it is - stealing coal from Minum and all, so our mind was preoccupied with staying alive. He stored the book back in the tunnels in a secret compartment until the end of our shift. Well, as luck would have it, the Minum army came limping back from their crushing defeat and made base camp around our mine. It was all we could do to get our carts, tools, and selves hidden before they were upon us. We decided to wait until they fell asleep to retrieve the book. We lay there behind some bushes waiting, sentry after sentry passing our position but never looking within their perimeter. Finally it seemed all activity had slowed to a halt. That’s when we hear it. A screeching howl. We’re not sure how it didn’t wake the entire army up - maybe only we could hear it because we had touched it - I’m not sure. But there was one other who heard it. We saw the lids retract and the light come on in those hideous glowing LED eyes. The whirr of electrical motors slowly coming to life. The Furby made his way into the cave and returned with our book. We watched him begin to read from the book, realization of what he had found slowly creeping into his expression. In time, he got up and looking back once at his army, ran off into the night.”

The Bard plucked idly at his strings, seeming pensive before asking the question that was on everyone’s mind, “So, what was the book? This, Furbrinomicon?”

“It’s a book of immense power, the knowledge contained therein grants the reader the ability to summon demons, and cast powerful spells the likes of which haven’t been seen since Ultima IV! The good news is that there is a way to stop Furby. Furby has a very defined life span. The Furbrinomicon, for all it’s power can’t keep a person alive. That magic has been lost for centuries, not since the age of Kain have we seen anything like that. By my calculations, the ole batteries should be running low for our enemy. This means that he is taking longer and longer each day in the recharger. You should be able to slip in and steal the book before he does unimaginable damage to our entire planet.”

The team was silent as they contemplated their next move.

Meanwhile...

L’weeze pulled off her fake ears and smiled.

“Well, we didn’t manage to turn that old man into a Furby but I think we have enough power between the three of us to send a message to Lord Furbamon himself.

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The three linked hands and began chanting, emitting a ghostly green glow that traveled over the horizon to the lair of Lord Furbamon. After some time, the ground around The Three began to shake.

“MAIL TIME,” Jene shouted.

A large multi-tentacled eldritch horror appeared and began to lumber across the land towards the hut.

MINIBOSS MADNESS (For real, actually beatable this time, I swear).


Note: Special Thanks to Mr. Marsu for this artwork!

FurbthuluDamage
Tentacle Zap0 to 15
Damage TypeSpell
Hit Points110
Hit Points Left110
Damage ResistanceNone