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You see that picture up there? That's me after teaching some punks a lesson. You see that messed up car right there? That, was their car. It was all nice and shiny and in good condition . . . until they decided to gang up on the wrong person. Heh, so how's everyone this weekend? Umm, not sure if you guys noticed, but I've been playing my fair share of GTA: Online, now that it's all up and running. And you know, those first few days were chaotic, but now it's all good. Now, I can finally roam around Los Santos, repossessing cars, dealing meth, and claiming bounties on peoples heads, while avoiding those after my head. It's all good. And I'm finally able to gain myself some hard earned money, without fears of having it lost due to the servers failing. *sigh* I still feel bad for all that lost progress, actually. But honestly, the money and time doesn't bother me as much as the loss of a simple trophy I had. Last night, after a while of wrestling with the Rockstar Social Club services, I was finally able to join my ol' pal Walfisch on a few missions. And boy, did I suck. Walf, if you're reading this, I promise, I generally play a lot better than I did last night, I swear! Heh, I think I made a fool of myself for quite a bit, actually. But you know, I'm gonna tell you the story behind one of the most amazing missions I've done Online so far.
So, Walf invited me to do a simple repo mission. Just go and retrieve a hot pink Zion from some stuck up lady who can't afford Simeon's brutal interest rates. You know, everyday stuff. So, we arrived there, I got behind the wheel, waited for Walf to get in, and then we took off, trying to evade the chick's goons and the police. And, well, if there's something I hate in this game . . . It's the cops. Jesus Christ, those guys are relentless. Doesn't help that I was on the phone with someone IRL at the moment. Whatever chance we had of returning the car in pristine condition was soon gone after a few crashes. My bad, right? Well, no. More cops came in, I'm flailing about, things are getting heated, Walf is just there watching and judging, and I'm on the goddamn phone. So, I manage to hang up, go into hiding in a construction site, and then just get out of the car and take a quick smoke break while the cops lose us. The choppers were circling nearby, and we were at a two star pursuit level. It's all good. Just me being cool and suave while on the job . . . Until the chopper spotted us. So, not really feeling like making myself look more like an ass, I let Walf go behind the wheel. And let me tell you, Walf was pulling some slick Transporter moves. It was crazy seeing the guy handle such a messed up car so effortlessly . . . Until he hit a wall, and both rear tires were blown. We were in trouble. I run out of the car immediately and pull out my trusty combat pistol. A few patrol cars were all lined up for cover, and you could see the greasy pigs starting to head out to end our bullshit with lead. So, I'm just standing there, hollowing heads, when suddenly, Walf decides to give the mission one last shot. I turn around and hop in on the spot, and we take off in the hole-riddled Zion. I keep returning fire as we swerve down the street, and this goes on for a good while. We were nearing Vinewood when suddenly, in an attempt to hide, Walf drives into a garage . . . But police choppers are just . . . evil, and they spotted us. That showdown earlier escalated our pursuit to a four star ranking, and SWAT teams were already within minutes. We were cornered, with nowhere to go. Two helicopters circling nearby, and cops just lining up, waiting to execute us. But, I couldn't just go with it that easily, right? I wanted a warrior's death. And thus, starting shooting at the chopper with the last 70 rounds on my SMG. I took both shooters out before finally hitting the pilot and watched as the thing began to descend rapidly to its doom. I switched to my shotgun, and opened fire on the SWAT operators, taking as many down as I could. And Walf did the same. Somehow, we were both still very well alive, and with a good chunk of health. So, upon noting I had only 140~ handgun rounds, I realized we needed to get out of there in one last, hopeless attempt. This time, it's my turn behind the wheel, and as soon as Walf got in, I squeezed through a gap between a wall and a SWAT van, and barely got away. Of course, our car was a mess. We had one functional tire, and lacked doors and a hood. Since I was very low on ammo, and a fight was inevitable, I gave Walf control of the car as soon as I had an opening. Once he took over, I tried contacting Merryweather Security Services, and ordered an ammo drop . . . Or at least that's what I wanted to do. I, umm, don't have a headset, so barking orders was definitely out of the question. I couldn't PM Walf, due to the circumstances, either. So, I just set up a waypoint for him to hide at, where I could have the ammo dropped . . . But cops are evil and bloodthirsty, and we were never given a chance to get away. We had almost circled the entire city at this point, and Walf eventually gave up and took to hiding in the mountains. Can't really blame him. As soon as it seemed safe, I got out of the car, and made the call. Now, it's all just a matter of seconds, and all that's left to do is wait . . . But, another chopper saw us. All I had was pistol ammo, because apparently SMG rounds are special or something, and aren't included in the package. And a handgun is useless against a chopper at that altitude. We got in the car again, and were finally killed after being completely boxed in and goreverized by the authorities . . . But, I still finished the mission. I took our only spare life, since I got killed first, and since we'd both died, the cops had no reason to be there anymore. So, I simply stood there, waiting for what seemed like an army to just pick up and leave. And they did, and I took the totaled car back to the dealership. But, right before that . . . I took pictures. A memento of one of the hairiest pursuit's I've been in. I mean, goddamn, we took on at least a handful of SWAT units and a chopper, and still managed to get away mostly intact. Somehow, we'd survive, and those pictures were proof of our victory. But . . . Rockstar Social Club services were down, and the only pictures it saved of Online for me, was one I took hours later, when some punks tried to jump me . . . *sighs*
Heh, sorry for the wall of text. But you guys know how war stories go, right? Yupp . . . Well, it's the weekend, so . . . If any of you guys need me, you know where to find me. *cough GTA cough cough*
Have a great weekend everyone!