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I just got back home last night! Ended up flying, but with all the extra time with layover and everything, it was about 12 hours of travelling total. Sadly, the longest part of the trip, which was when I flew into the DFW airport, was mostly memorable because the gentleman in front of me was a giant tool.

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If you want to disagree with me, that’s totally fine as long as you can deal with being wrong, but in my personal (and correct) opinion, the ability to lean your chairs back should be removed from coach seats in domestic flights, and only be allowed with major restrictions in first class. No, I don’t care about late flights—you knew what you were getting into. Grab a cup of coffee, learn to sleep better, or buy a first class seat. Stop leaning back. Stop it.

The reason this came up, of course, is because I encountered it on my flight. I managed to get upgraded to first class pro bono, so it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could’ve been, but immediately after we were given the assorted snackages and everything, the aforementioned toolshed leaned his chair back full blast without warning. My chairs armrest table was extended, and when he leaned back, he pinned the table back down behind him, making it impossible for him to go back further or for me to retract the table at all. Not to mention I was left with very little legroom. It was... awkward.

The steward came back and took up snackage wrappers and everything, so he leaned his chair up to give her his garbage. I used that as an opportunity to take my table back and get it out of my way—but I didn’t think about it being the only thing from him leaning back further. And sure enough, he leaned back only a few moments later and practically placed his head on my lap.

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I stared at my own shocked expression on the reflection of his bald head. I’d made a horrible mistake—while the table was certainly a bit of a pain to navigate around, having this butthat’s chair on top of me made things about a thousand times harder.

Whenever things like this, I try to be subtle. Gentle nudges from leg movements, pushing back up against the chair when he gives it a moment of give—generally, things that let people know there’s not enough room behind them without explicitly calling them out. They tend to work, but for some reason, it didn’t happen with this guy. So I went to the ultimate back-up strategy: the vent.

For those of you who don’t know, the air vent that blows cool air on you during your flight is just above your head, and it’s pretty flexible with which way it can face. In fact, if the person in front of you is leaning their chair back too far, it can even blow onto them—right on the back or top of their head.

And this is precisely what I did: I reached up, turned my vent on full blast, and aimed it in front of me—then I waited. Within half a minute, he leaned his chair back up as far as it could go, and I was suddenly free to move around and enjoy my flight. No words were exchanged, no dirty looks were given, but the amount of passive, indirect aggressiveness towards one another was incredibly hilarious to me.

TL;DR: Neryl used Cold Air. It was super effective.

I just felt like I had to tell that story, TAY—but then I realized it was a bit of a BAO. So, feel free to BAO or talk amongst yourselves about life, love, gaming, or whatever else you desire. The Wednesday Graveyard Shift is now open!

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