Well helloooooooo there! Welcome to The Graveyard Shift, your nightly nocturnal safe space to hang with your fellow nerds here on Talk Amongst Yourselves, Kotaku’s reader-run blog. Whether sticking to the topic at hand or throwing out whatever randomness is on your mind, hop on in!


Tonight’s Topic: Flipping a House Seems Pretty Easy, Amirite?

I was out to lunch with my mom and sisters this past weekend, and my mom just casually drops into the conversation that once her dogs are dead (which: WTF WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU MONSTER, CHILLY THE DOG WILL LIVE FOREVER LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU) she wants to move into a tiny house. As in, one of these abominations:

.... you know, the kind of dwelling where, should you decide to cohabitate, you would probably murder your loved one within 90 days.

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After scrunching my chipmunk face up in horror and disdain for the next ten minutes or so, I got to thinking ... yes, okay this *particular* idea is 100% nutters, but who among us has not watched HGTV and formed some bizarrely strong opinions about home renovations and decor?

I mean, I am ... so, so many (ewww depressing) years away from even thinking about purchasing real estate, but thanks to a healthy diet of tidy, glossy home improvement shows I am 100% certain that I require an ensuite master bathroom and walk-in closet, hardwood throughout, a healthy-sized kitchen with a farmhouse sink and quartz countertops (marble: so overrated), sleek, modern-ish decor, and if anyone so much as utters the phrase “open concept” I am OUT.

You see?!?? This ... why do I even have opinions on this? Bizarrely strong opinions?? FFS, who feels strongly about countertop materials??

HGTV: This Way Lies Madness.

Okay so I’m not the only one who has ~very specific~ ideas about what their perfect dwelling would be like, right? I know you do, don’t lie to me. If you could create a place to live that was 100% your own, what would it look like? Have you ever taken on a home project that got way out of hand? (Anecdotes please!!) Most importantly, what are your thoughts on tiny houses???

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I need to know! I mean ok fine open forum, talk about whatever you want obviously, but seriously those people who pay like $200,000 for a gussied-up shipping container are pretty much the worst, right? At any rate, the Graveyard Shift is now in session!