This is going to end up being a four part story. I am sorry to all of my fans for making you wait for the ultimate end of this story for another week, but it can’t be helped. The convention we went to deserves its own entry, while the drive home deserves an equal entry as well.

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So last I left you my wife was texting me about a strange noise coming from the mattress Box on Legs and her boyfriend were sleeping on. To this day we still don’t know what was happening, but we have our suspicions.

My wife described the noise by smacking her lips together, or slightly like a chewing type noise. I was in the other room with Will falling asleep to A League of Their Own in Will’s king sized bed, so I never heard the noise.

My roommate, who was sleeping out in the living area on the couch opposite of the couch my wife was on was dead asleep, and when I say dead asleep I mean it. She once slept soundly while her best friend and her best friend’s boyfriend had relations on top of her (she claims two feet away, but she was asleep so I trust those involved when they say on top of).

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So eventually the noise stops. And everyone gets to bed around 1:30 a.m. Now really quick aside that is important. Box on Legs and her boyfriend were adamant, ADAMANT, that we get up at 6:30 a.m. and get to the venue at like 8 a.m. because they didn’t want to have to wait in LineCon all day. They really didn’t want to participate in LineCon.

The alarms were set for 6:30 a.m. because we planned on getting up then anyway because we did want to get breakfast before we left. The alarms go off and I get up and take a shower, then Will takes a shower and my wife and roommate are getting our breakfast out of the fridge.

Meanwhile, Box on Legs can be overheard under the covers with her boyfriend.

BOL: I don’t want to get up. Let’s sleep for another five minutes.

BF: No honey we need to get up.

BOL: I don’t waaaaaaannnnnnt to get up.

BF: but we really need to get up.

BOL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

We continue to go about our morning. We brought Donut King donuts for breakfast, with a couple extra for Will because we were using his place for free. We had picked up donuts the day before because we knew we would want breakfast, and we love donuts.

About half an hour after the whole “don’t wanna get up” fight is settled and the two of them are getting out of bed around 7:15 a.m. they see us prepping to eat donuts. Box on Legs walks over, “You brought donuts for everyone!”

My wife looks at her, “no we brough donuts for us because we knew we wanted breakfast. Didn’t you bring anything?”

Box on Legs looks super depressed. She thought she was getting free donuts. But we had two donuts for each person (me, my wife, will and our roommate) and not enough for two extra people. We do need to get milk though, because Will is terrible at the whole keeping his fridge stocked thing.

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So we tell them we are going to hit the local Publix to grab some milk, they can buy some breakfast then. So we get in the car and hit the Publix only two minutes away. Box on Legs and her boyfried see a Starbucks across the street, they are going there.

The four of us go into Publix while those two run across the street. We each grab our own small milk (the one serving size ones) and pay and leave. We get to the car and wait. And wait. And wait. About 20 minutes later the two of them show up with nothing in their hands.

We ask what took so long. “Oh we ate at the Starbucks”.

We drive back to Will’s place, it is now almost 8 a.m. We hurriedly eat breakfast while Box on Legs is freaking out that we are going to be late. We finish breakfast and change into our garments for the day. My wife is sporting a nice Sailor Moon T-shirt dress, while my roommate is a pretty good Misty from Pokemon. Will has his Legend of Zelda shirt on, and I am doing a pretty mean Sailor Jupiter.

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It is now 8:15 a.m. and we get into the car. I inform everyone I will need to get gas on the way. So I stop to get gas before hitting the freeway and Box on Legs is still freaking out about being late.

I pump gas.

As I get back in the car, my roommate hands me her share of the travel money. I look at Box on Legs and her boyfriend, they pretend not to see me.

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We get back on the road and finally get to the venue. We get a pretty good parking spot despite it being around 9 a.m. and we being “super late” for the con.

We park, get out and start making our way to the front door. There is a huge line for people who need to check in with “weapons”. We have no such thing so we go to the entrance for people without. We walk in no trouble at all. No LineCon to worry about.

We get to the ticket counter to pick up our already paid for tickets. They scan our papers and give us our wrist bands. I look up and Box on Legs and her boyfriend are nowhere to be seen. They skidaddled before I could ask for the travel money. I wanted the cash then so I could spend it at the con, but no big deal, I’ll get it eventually.

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So, me, will, my wife and roommate walk over to the entrance. “sir the convention doesn’t open until 10 a.m.”

Thanks Box on Legs for not knowing when the con opens. But that’s fine. We don’t have to wait in line, and now that she and her bf are gone, we can enjoy ourselves.

The con finally opens, we go in, spend a little bit of money, meet the original english (terrible but amazing) voice actors for Sailor Moon. Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Moon love my costume. We get a big poster we have signed and are having a great time checking stuff out.

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Around noon Box on Legs sees us walking around the vendors floor. She walks up. “Look what I got, look what I got!” She shows me that she bought a light up wand from Sailor Moon (that turned out to be quite expensive when I saw it at a vendor later) and an autographed poster from the original english voice actors of sailor moon. That is right, she didn’t get a poster than get it signed herself. She actually purchased a pre-signed poster.

I point this out to her. She says she couldn’t afford the autographs. I tell her they are literally charging five dollars for the autographs. She looks at her poster and says, but this cost like 70 dollars!

She spent more money not meeting the actors than she would have to just meet them and have them sign something. I am already thinking that I am not getting my money. So I turn to point to where my wife and roommate are and then turn back around and Box on Legs is gone.

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I find the other three and we continue to look around. Then Will, who is reading the program, says, “hey Callen is going to be here!” (Callen from Code Geass one of our favorite shows) So I grab the program from him and read a little more. She also happens to be the voice actor for Miss Yamanaka from K-On! which makes my head explode.

I make Will run out to the car to grab one of my eight K-On! cds so I can get it signed. Meanwhile we start looking for Code Geass things. We are able to find one, ONE small poster of Callen, CC, and Shirly in school bathing suits. I hate myself, but I purchase said poster because it is the only thing with Callen on it I can find.

We get in line for the free autographs right next to a fairly attractive woman around our age that is wearing a bikini with fox ears and a fox tail. Don’t know who she was supposed to be, but Will would have creamed his pants if he hadn’t been running to the car. She loves my costume and we talk the entire time we are in line. She was a real estate agent, and my wife and I were in the process of buying a house so the three of us were chatting about that.

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Will gets back just in time to see her leave us to get her autographs. He is not very happy with me. We get our autographs and my wife has a long conversation with the actress about K-On! and how interesting and fun of a project it was to work on.

At this point it is around 2 p.m. and we are hungry. There is a small mall connected to the convention center, so we head there and get some food from the food court. While we are finishing our meals, Box on Legs calls, “We’re hungry, what are we doing for lunch.”

I inform her that we already ate, but there is a food court close that they could eat at. Then I hand off the phone to my wife because I need to keep eating. My wife informs Box on Legs that they should eat soon because we will be leaving soon. You know because we need to drive four hours home and we wanted to get started before it got too dark out.

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Box on Legs flips. She wanted to go to a panel with the Sailor Moon cast at 8 p.m. Not realizing it would be after midnight by the time we got home, and she was after all a “new driver”. She demands to speak to me.

I give her the same info, tell her she can stay if she wants but we won’t be, and tell her to be at the car at 4 p.m. giving her an hour and a half to get food. Now, we know she is always late, so we really wanted to leave at 5 p.m. because it gave us more time to do a couple of things we had left to do. But we told her an hour early just to be safe.

So we finish everything up and get to the car around 4:45 p.m. At 4:58 Box on Legs and her boyfriend come walking over with takeout chinese food wrapped up in bags in their hands. They bought their lunch about 30 minutes ago, off site, and walked straight to the car.

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Box on Legs appologizes for being late. I say, “No you are perfectly on time, it’s 5 O’clock.” She looks puzzled.

That is where I will end this part of the story. The end of this story is really the best part. I know there is enough material in these last three to get quite a few good laughs out of, but trust me the last installment has all the best parts. Here is a quick taste. “Do you think Matt would be angry if I postdate the check?”

If you missed a week, I’ve got you covered.