So Will failed us again. No continuation of his story. So today we will talk about two times I went out to a restaurant with Will and because of unforeseen circumstances, he made a fool of himself. The first story is about trying something new, and the second may or may not end in me slapping Will across the face in the middle of a packed restaurant.
The first such instance was when we went to a local Hibachi Grill called Robata. Will often went with my wife and I out to eat and just got water and like an appetizer and ate whatever we didn’t want. So we ordered our meals, and he ordered a side of fried rice because he loves fried rice.
The chef comes out, he knows us because we go all the time, and makes our food, joking with Will about why he only got rice. I had also gotten a small side plate of sushi, because I always do. And on that plate was a little dollop of wasabi.
We were going to the beach the next week, and everyone who hitched a ride would pay like five dollars for gas, so I told Will he could eat the wasabi and I wouldn’t charge him for gas. He said no. Then he said, “How about half?”
Before the words were even out of his mouth I screamed, “DEAL!”
So knowing he is going to do it at the end of the meal, I slowly make sure none of the glasses at the table have any liquid left. I drain my soda, my wife drains hers. The other couple had finished theirs and left. Will being a complete moron finished his water right before it was time.
So he cuts the little dollop in half and just downs the thing in one swallow. He looks at me and goes, “That’s not so.......”
As soon as he says so, his face starts to contort and he just starts reaching for glasses on the table as his eyes water and he can’t speak. He reaches for each cup one at a time, realizing too late they are all empty.
While this scene is playing out, our chef was standing across the restaurant about to go on break. He just looks over, points his finger and screams across like four tables full of people, “Wasabi?”
We shake our heads yes. He just bursts out laughing as loud as he can as the rest of the restaurant stares at Will frantically eating ice out of his cup.
Will has never had Wasabi since.
Story number two involves Will’s sister (well kind of, he was talking shit about her.) Quick side not on his sister. She is awesome, she graduated from college, where she played D-1 hockey as a goalie. She got to travel Europe and play hockey because of said D-1 hockey program. And, oh yeah, she happens to be in law school right now in Jacksonville.
Ok back in, so we are walking through downtown Winter Garden to go to a pizza place my wife loves. Will is talking about how his sister is getting on his nerves lately because her boyfriend cheated on her, just as she was about to graduate and have to try and get into law school. So she has just a wee bit of stress going on. So she calls him from time to time to talk.
Well we all know how well Will talks with women. So he has been giving her a lot of shit. So as we walk into the restaurant, he starts saying how she was given everything and his parents loved her more and she has it made. And what the hell does she have to be depressed about. So I told Will he should stop talking shit and try to help his sister. Clearly she is going through a rough patch.
He just answers in his Will way that she has been given everything and should just stop being that way.
Well, I finally get fed up with all the shit and just reach back and full strength slap Will across the face, right in the middle of the restaurant while waiting to be seated. The host was coming over to get us for a table right as I did it, and he just turned right around and walked to the kitchen.
The look on Will’s face went from sheer amazement to anger to confusion to acceptance in the span of two seconds. He had no response and just stood there with his mouth agape. I told him I would slap him again if he wasn’t nicer to his sister.
He is still pissed to this day that I slapped him in public. The look on his face was priceless, and his sister got a good laugh out of the story, so Will did make her feel better! Although it was inadvertent.
Enjoy the weekend everyone! Time to hit up Orlando for the USWNT vs. Brazil on Sunday! GO USA!
If you missed a week I’ve got you covered.