“They save cats have nine lives you have only ONE.” - Movie Trailer Man
The eternal question that will forever haunt humanity......
Would you rather fight 1 horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?
Everyone, after mulling over the carnage that would take place with either pick, finally makes their hesitant decision.
Me, on the other hand, have never understood why a duck is the animal that so many people choose to risk their lives in battle with. A duck instills no fear in me. Maybe I am just brave, or maybe I am just dumb. I would never face a lowly duck in battle.
However, the animal that does strike fear in my heart and in my loins, is a cat. They fill me with terror not just because they are ferocious, manipulative, and never in any circumstances to be trusted but because they have NINE LIVES!!
Could you imagine battling one horse sized cat, to the death of course, and with your last bit of life force you lunge at the ferocious feline and finally land a killing strike to its heart. After a few deep breaths, you make your way to your feet and shoot your arms to the sky in celebration. Then you hear it. You hear it behind you, meowing. Softly at first but then loudly. You try to move and as you turn it launches back at you claws extended, mouth gaping, yelling Eight Lives Left!
Uninvited is that nightmare. Uninvited is my nightmare.
Uninvited is a glorious
B-Movie C-Movie directed by Greydon Clark (Please look at his wondrous filmography) about a mutant cat, a gangster’s yacht, and the pinnacle of bad movie acting.
It might be one of the best “So bad its good films” I have ever seen.
Please just watch the trailer.
Mutant Cat Fucks People Up!!! Is what this film should have been titled.
There is nothing left to say.
Five Ways Mutant Cat Is Only Slight Worse Than Your Cat
Regular cats ruin everything but after watching Uninvited, I can safely say mutant cat is a little bit worse than your cat (Or might be exactly like your cat).
Mutant Cat Ruins Your Expensive Liquor
Mutant cat cares not for your expensive aged bourbon. Die hipsters!
Mutant Cat Ruins Your Expensive Suitcase
Mutant cat cares not for your fancy suitcase while looking like the wing monster from Twilight Zone. Die productivity!
Mutant Cat Ruins Your Antique Truck
Mutant cat cares not for your drunk driving or your stupid antique truck. Die diesel scum!
Mutant Cat Ruins Your Bone Zone Time
Mutant cat cares not for your sexy time, Tommy Bahama Man. Finger treats!
Mutant Cat Ruins Your Leather Loafers
Mutant cat cares not for your $500 dollar loafers..or your Achilles Tendon.
It always hard to rate a film that is purposely bad. Everyone on a low-budget horror movie set knows what type of movie they are making yet there are still some crews and actors who try to save some pride. Uninvited is not one of those movies. All of the people who made Uninvited should be ashamed of themselves, but everyone who watches it should praise those same brave human beings for their efforts. Because if Uninvited teaches you anything it is, “If your going to make a bad movie, you better fucking go for it!”
In a sentence
Uninvited is everything you want in a “So bad it’s good movie” from the over-the-top gore, to the terrible acting, bad special effects, and mutant cat, watch it NOW.
Rotten tomatoes: Not Enough Reviews
My Rating: 5 Mutant Meows Out Of 5
“You can escape purgatory, but you can’t escape Hell.” - Priest in My Left Foot
This has been day 6 of 30 VHS In 30 DAYS. My journey to the center of VHS Hell. Special thanks to I Luv Video in Austin, The World’s Largest Video Store, for being my spiritual and literal guide through VHS purgatory.