Some mild spoilers follow

No. 5 - I am terrible at stealth

Seriously, my infinite tolerance for bullshit that I can easily use in regular life is not applicable for Metal Gear games. I’d rather blast my way through a map rather than intricately mapping out each individual soldier’s movements, sneaking up and picking them off one-by-one. I do it, but on one hand, I’m not doing the norm, but on the other, the tension makes for a more immersive experience. I rage quit a lot, but those little moments of picking off unwary soldiers make me keep coming back.

No. 4 - Airlifting sheep will always be funny

No exceptions. People are sort of funny too, but there’s nothing quite like getting that screeching “BAAAAH” of fear.

No. 3 - Hideo Kojima will always find a way to drop something completely unexpected in his games

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This is a fire whale. Eating a helicopter.

...I got nothin’.

No. 2 - I am a chick, apparently

This bothers me for reasons I can’t comprehend. Also, Google search for “MGS 5 chick rating” brings up the boobie lady whom I’m unfamilar with since I avoid all trailers for games I wanna play. Shame on you internet.

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No. 1 - There are way too many credits.

Start the game, credits. start epilogue, credits. Finish Epilogue, credits. Start new mission, finish new mission, take a break to make a sandwich, credits, credits, CREDITS.

I don’t know if it’s a gag, or what, but I don’t need this many credits. I actually scoured the options to see if there’s a way to stop the credits. There’s not. At this point, I may have to reverse engineer the code to take out the code that shows the credits! I get it, Kojima. You got hosed by Konami. We understand, we get it. We’re sorry. don’t take it out on us with extra piles of credits taking up valuable screen real estate! It takes away the immersive nature of the game!