My mean relationship time is 4 years. I need that time to get to know the girl before I really commit. It takes me a long time to really understand if someone is compatible with me before I take the plunge and say stupid things like, "OH RORY WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME IMPREGNATE YOU!? (Who am I kidding? That's first date material)"

I recently got out of a relationship and after awhile of reflection along with ice cream and crying induced comas, I decided to get back in the game. I signed up for match.com. It sucked. It was like forcing an entire relationship into that first date. It was taking that previous long period of time that I was used to and crunching it into two or three dates. It was impossible and unsurprisingly it was a disaster.

Agents of SHIELD is a bit like that. It takes a bunch of people who you don't know and says, "you know these people because they're tropes from other Joss Whedon joints." There's the cheeky science/tech guys (Fran Kranz and Amy Acker from Dollhouse, Willow from Buffy, "that redhead" from Firefly, Wesley from Angel(? oK maybe a stretch). There's the "Badass" Ward, Buffy, Angel, Jayne, etc, and so on. I could really go over all of them but I won't. I think you get my point. It's like me going on those first dates and having to say, "I don't know you, but I love you because I've dated women before that have similar superficial qualities as you and so you must be amazing like them."

It's a risk.

I'd have rather they started the first show with Ward. They could have given him his own background, given me some reason to care about him. Create a "main character" and let me fall in love with him or her. Give me a reason to care about these people beyond the "I Have Faith in Joss Whedon." spiel. It was just like, "really? You are badass guy who doesn't play nice with others. You are two nerdy science guys? You're kickass hacker girl?"

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I can't really critique the show, obviously, I'm just giving my stupid first impressions which, you know what they say about opinions and ...butts (PGified! yeah!) - everyone's got one. But it felt...forced. Like it was trying too hard to be every other Joss Whedon show only this time in the Avenger's universe.

Anyway, my 2 cents. I'm running out of steam now so I'll go. RIP ME APART INTERWEBS! RIP ME.

PS. That image is what has been waiting in my basement every night lately. Damn rains got them coming out of the woodwork.