As I was watching Electronic Arts’ E3 press conference, I was wondering the same things everyone else was. Why are they using so much time on this mobile game? Then they mentioned the name of the game and it drew a heavy sigh.

They really didn’t need to waste so much time on it; they just didn’t have anything else to show. The esports style presentation didn’t help either. Do they want to make the first mobile esports title? That is unlikely to happen, especially after they pissed people off by revealing that it’s the new Command and Conquer game.

As I was watching the ‘match’ I was thinking: “This could work. I probably wouldn’t play it myself. The design is simplistic but good enough for a mobile RTS.” All they had to do, was avoid saying anything about command and conquer and called it something else. They could have called it, “Hold this Missile” or “Fire up my Rocket” or something.

I understand the theory behind it. Attach the name of a popular franchise to it, and that will increase interest. But do some introspection, EA, for god’s sake. You’re perceived as the monster that destroyed Westwood Studios, shat all over the franchise, and ignored it for years. Now you’re bringing it back as mobile game? Most people who play mobile games have never even heard of Command and Conquer.

Furthermore, the fact that it’s a mobile game, from EA, sets off a million alarms in our heads telling us not to trust it. EA, mobile game, and microtransactions, go together like diarrhea and my asshole. Just as pleasant too.

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Microsoft ended up being the company that did it right. Strangely enough, it was by trolling us. People were oiling up their pitchforks when Gears Pop was on screen. Then Gears Tactics made them skip the sharpening. But then they were like: “Just Kidding!” And revealed Gears 5. If they had a new full C&C game to reveal right after the mobile game, I wouldn’t be writing this article.

60 days of writing? I can write about EA fucking up until the end of time. Scheduled articles’ll go up as I’m being lowered into my grave. That’s not a good look EA. You might still have time to change the name and hope nobody notices.

Papito Qinn is into the whole YouTube thing, is the winner of the 2016 SpookTAYcular Scary Story Contest, and a twitter incompetent. “E3 always dominates the trends section.”