I rewatched the 1995 film, Se7en (Seven) recently and last night as I crawled into bed, the idea for this article came to me. Normally I don’t know if I would have really considered it. But I need something to write about so, this is happening.
Introspection is something I do often, maybe too often. So I’m going to use my super introspection powers to apply myself to the seven deadly sins in Christianity. Now I am aware that some of the definitions are in contention, but let’s take it easy. I’m just gonna chill on being technical on the definitions. I gotta put something up, I got a 20+ minutes analysis video to work on and the weather is miserable. I might as well be in the inferno. But if I was, which circle would I belong in?
Let’s get the easiest one out of the way. I have no idea what this feels like. I have no accomplishments that I can use as an example to justify any amount of pride. I have no pride in my heritage, ethnicity, country of origin, or myself in general. I understand why people have pride in those things, and I understand why it’s absolutely necessary in certain cases. I’m the one who is abnormal. I can’t have pride in something I have no control over. People say all the time: “You need confidence.” and I’ve known many people who brim with confidence, but can’t point to a single justification for it. That makes it narcissism, not confidence. By the end of this 60 day writing challenge, I hope to feel some pride, as it is something that I may be able to call an accomplishment.
Now I am quite sexually active, just not with another person. I won’t be for at least another 3 years or so. This means that I have fornicated a hefty amount, but with a very small list of individuals. I don’t know if that makes any difference or not. I think people still have a long to go when it comes to sex. It really isn’t that big of a deal.
Most people associate this with eating yourself into a Jabba the hutt cosplay. But I associate it with wasteful consumption. I dislike throwing away food. It’s wasteful, I should have just made less. But that’s really the only thing I can point to. I used to be fat, sure. But that’s in the past. I don’t think I waste anything else. Maybe steam sales count, but in recent years I’ve been very careful with buying new games. I have enough games to play. I didn’t buy a single game in the last summer sale, but that was because I have no money to waste.
Honestly this is not something applies to me. Avarice is not something that, myself or anyone who’s ever interacted with me, has associated as a characteristic of my personality. I know it doesn’t have to be money. But maybe I should be a little greedy for money, given my current situation.
Many people associate this with laziness. I consider that it can be that and not using opportunity, talents, and skills. As a child I was considered to be pretty lazy. Whenever a teacher needed a student to go to the office or something, I would never volunteer. In comparison to the inhabitants of my country, you could say that I grew up in, what Americans call, an upper middle class household. That wasn’t enough for me to attend the international school unfortunately. I didn’t make full use of everything I had access to, but I didn’t exactly squander it either.
I’m certainly not wrathful. I don’t understand how some people can go ballistic at the drop of a hat, or beat their own children because they ate the last piece of chicken. But some people really do have a hair trigger temper. You can give them the wrong kind of cookie by mistake and next thing you know, they’re out for blood. Have a little self control for crying out loud, and stop being a slave to your emotions. This isn’t to say that I’m incapable of anger. I’m just able to control my actions for the most part.
The easiest way to incur my wrath is through my brother. He told me a story once of how this one driver was at a crosswalk, and letting people cross. All the white people would cross but whenever my brother started crossing, the driver would accelerate forward, like threatening to run him over. My brother looked at him and he shakes his head in the “no” fashion. I don’t know what I would have done if I was there. I can say that I would let it go. But what I would really want to do is drag him out of his car, position his head next to the front tire of his car and accelerate.
Me and my brother were going to a concert in Amsterdam one time and we couldn’t find the venue. My brother decided to ask around for directions. He went up to these two girls, said excuse me and all that, and started asking, but they completely ignored him. They acted like he didn’t exist at all. I wanted to disembowel them both, as I forced their loved ones to watch. I wanted to trap their heads in a box with rats, so the rats would have to eat through their faces to escape. I would never actually do that of course.
But he doesn’t deserve that. You can do that kind of thing to me all day, but not him. He’s actually a valuable member of society. He has real worth. I wondered once what I would do if someone were to murder my brother and I get my hands on them. I promise I will not kill them. I will make absolutely sure that they live very long lives. If you want to call that ‘living’ that is.
It’s not just jealousy, is it? It’s actually pursuing what someone else has, by taking it away from them. No. Not me. Even if there was something I wanted from someone else, I don’t believe that I have what it takes to steal it.
Papito Qinn is into the whole YouTube thing, is the winner of the 2016 SpookTAYcular Scary Story Contest, and atwitter incompetent. “Always remember that the 7 deadly sins were developed to keep peasants under control.”