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Backlog Files: Breath of Death VII: The Beginning

Illustration for article titled Backlog Files: Breath of Death VII: The Beginning

Vital Stats

Backlog Number: 8

Game: Breath of Death VII: The Beginning

Number of Players: Single Player

Genre: Indie, Retro, RPG

Developer: Deboyd Games

Time To Beat: 5 hours

Rating: 1 out of 5 furbies

Recommend: No

I used to love RPGs. I played the crap out of dragon warrior and final fantasy. I grew up with the FF series and legend of mana on SNES. Nowadays I don’t have time for the Tales of... or FF15 waste my time fest. But when I saw Breath of Death was on my list I was pretty hopeful this would distill the feel for those old games while improving on the mechanics.


Ugh. I got what I wished for. There’s nothing to this game. What could have been a charming turned sour quickly. You play a skeleton, 3 other characters forcefully join your party (and that’s actually the majority of the story right there), then you go find out why a robot went evil by going to some castle where Dr. Dark says, I need the crystals for my time machine. The End. The humor was something I was looking forward to as well, but like Blue Estate before it, this game’s humor lies solely in pointing at a thing that was in another game and going “wasn’t that funny!” There’s no real effort here except in the pretty good soundtrack. I’m confused how this was ever recommended to me or how anyone thought this was good. It was .....not great. The gameplay did become somewhat refined but this game is probably an hour and a half, with the other 3.5 hours spent replaying sections where you died half hour ago and need to get back to where you were because you forgot to save. The difficulty is all over the place (the review i read on metacritic that said they just “smashed enter to win” was playing on easy mode probably because on normal there were a few times i got absolutely wrecked (there’s a weird ooze lizard in a sewer that hits and has HP like a boss until you figure out the ONE SPELL you have that does 2k damage to it)).

Because of the lackluster graphics (this has nothing to do with it being “retro” and everything to do with just unappealing graphics), tedious gameplay, non-existent story, and dull characters, I can’t recommend this game under any circumstance.


Next Up: I swore I’d never play a game that is abbreviated as a fish but god damn here I am. Grab Soap, we’re going to get messy.

Backlog Files is a series where I, Aikage, force myself to play every game I’ve ever bought in alphabetical order. Stipulations: If I hate the game I don’t have to finish it, but only if I reeeaaaalllly hate it. Any game with no “end” doesn’t count. Any game that I can’t get to run easily is out. Any jRPG is automatically disqualified unless it has a sub forty hour length. Aint nobody got time for you persona/disgaea.

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