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Backlog Files: Dishonored

Illustration for article titled Backlog Files: Dishonored
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Backlog Number: 17

Game: Dishonored

Number of Players: Single Player

Genre: Stealth Magic

Developer: Arkane

Time To Beat: 24 hours

Rating: 1 out of 5 / 5 out of 5 furbies

Recommend: No

God this game. There are things Dishonored does incredibly well. Level design, powers, gameplay. These are all top notch. They’re SO well done that I almost ALMOST could recommend the game. The issues with this game are so ...bad that I just can’t though.

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Imagine if you will a board game. The game has rules. In order to win the game you must play it as the rules instruct. However, if you play by the rules, then half of the pieces (and these look like fun pieces!) are thrown immediately into the trash. This is Dishonored. Most of the toys in the toybox are locked behind the concept of violence or nonviolence. There’s no morality system beyond the idea of a “good” vs. “bad” end. If you get the good end then everyone lives happily ever after. If you get the bad end, everyone dies. If you want the good end you have to promise not to hurt anyone. If you want the bad end (no one wants the bad end) then they’ll let you use the fun abilities that kill people. It’s nonsense.

That’s the #1 flaw but the second flaw is a loading screen that says “save often”. The reason for this, and this is an outgrowth of the major flaw, is that you’re going to be save scumming. A lot. You’re going to alert some guards and end up killing them on accident. Any game that recommends you save scum is kind of a poorly designed game in my opinion.

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So my recommendation is this: If you’ve still somehow not played this game, just go through, kill everyone and then watch the real ending on YouTube.

Next Up: I’m not sure. Either that 10093 hour long amazing Larian RPG, or that Ragnar Tornquist game, or a game about a depressed clown. Just depends on if I can convince Kidechka that we have to sit down and actually get out of Fort Joy for once. (we’ve tried 2 times already)

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Backlog Files is a series where I, Aikage, force myself to play every game I’ve ever bought in alphabetical order. Stipulations: If I hate the game I don’t have to finish it, but only if I reeeaaaalllly hate it. Any game with no “end” doesn’t count. Any game that I can’t get to run easily is out. Any jRPG is automatically disqualified unless it has a sub forty hour length. Aint nobody got time for you persona/disgaea.

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