Novibear had just finished saving the world. His sword, named Bearcut, coated in the blood of his enemies and his meals.
He was on his way back to the Kingdom of Tayirca, when suddenly, he was ambushed by an enemy. "Lower your weapon, bear," asked DisturbedShadow in a monotone. "I am horribly uninteresting and I don't like fanfictions because Pikathulu-sempai is too magical and kawaii." Novi then responded, "But I am a bear, and I can eat your face. Also, the Opeth concert in in three hours." DisturbedShadow then left, because he likes Opeth and can't fight.
On the border, Novi stopped by Pikathulu's shop. Pika is a collector of strange, unique, and erotic items. "Tentacled monster," growled Novi, "Give me a $20 Steam card." And so Pikathulu did that, before going back to searching pregnant versions of anime characters on Google Images.
Novi then encountered a horrible slug monster. "I am Steve Bowling," said the slug monster. "Please don't put salt on me." Novi was okay with this, because bears don't need salt; they need fish and honey. Therefore he didn't have any salt. "Horrible slug monster," Novi said, "I bear you no ill will. Can you perhaps show me the way to Nintendoland?" "Yes," replied Steve Bowling, "But they are sold out of Amiibos." Then Novi was all like, "That's okay, I have a Steam card," and continued his journey.
Tayirca had just deposed a vile dictator, Professor Gibidi, and was in the midst of its first democratic election. The candidates were Neryl, Nach, that guy with the Furby avatar and The Messiah. Messy didn't win because he's a troublemaker and he shoots witches.
Neryl won by like 50 votes. Queen Neryl was okay at her job.
To be continued.