Um ok so I just wasn't feeling Monster Hunter. I wanted to eat pizza and play ToS instead, since we're not too far from the endgame (I think). But guys. I have had this crackpot theory about the game from the beginning and it's become a running joke with Dyram. WHELP. It looks like he's been punking me this whole time into thinking I was crazy but I was actually right.
TL;DR you need to come right now and see what the deal is.