NEW MASS EFFECT?!? NEW MASS EFFECT. Imma have to bake these feels out:
1 1/4 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp cardamom
2 sticks butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
3 cups “old fashioned” oats
1 package butterscotch chips
1+ bottles local shiraz
+1 E3 hype
1. Combine baking soda, salt, cinnamon, and cardamom in a bowl. Consume as much red wine as you like (whatever *feels* right).
2. Beat butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Gradually add dry mix.
3. Stir in oats and butterscotch chips.
4. Drop by rounded spoonful onto baking sheet lined with parchment paper; bake 9-10 minutes.
6. Realize that your definition of “rounded spoonfuls” is 100% TOO MUCH.
7. Chill. Take a hot second to watch “Beautiful Creatures” on SyFy. You’re tipsy and befuddled but whatever - WE SHALL PRESS ON.
8. Cool cookies on a cooling rack. Admire your work.
9. The SUGAR HIGH is not nearly as potent as the E3 HIGH of a new Mass Effect game, but we make do.
10. Cool and then display on a fancy crystal pedestal.
11. YOU DID IT!! Now just sit tight for the next 1.5 years - you can do that, right?
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