I'm really feeling it!
I'm really feeling it!
Illustration for article titled Crucible is no Battleborn

So I downloaded and played a bit of Amazon’s latest venture into vidya gamin’. I’m not going to write a three page article on how this game sucks, because honestly I played about an hour of it total so I can’t pass judgment too harshly.

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Here’s what I noticed though:

Guns Feel awful

I played three different characters and every single one of them had guns that felt like I was shooting pea shooters. They’re ranking among some of the least satisfying guns I’ve ever shot with! Even the sniper landing hits feels like you’re tapping someone.

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This could be fixed by lowering health, increasing crit damage for headshots, and then lowering respawn timers.

Respawn timers are 20s?

It’s just too long. I hate them to begin with, but then being out of the action for this length of time feels like an eternity.

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What the hell am I supposed to be doing?

For a game with a forced tutorial they sure don’t teach you anything useful. Listen, it’s 2020 no one needs a tutorial where one of the checkboxes is “jump” and “move”. Put me on a map, tell me what the objectives are and then put some dumb dumb ai in my way.

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Aesthetic

This game has none. A game like Overwatch, a game I also don’t like mostly because Quiddity will never play it with me, has aesthetic in spades. You can look at a character and go, oh yeah, they belong here. This game has nothing at all like that. It has uh....sigh, gritty army man. Trucker alien. guuuuhhhh

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It’s not Battleborn

Probably the biggest sin it commits is not being battleborn. I kid, but not really. It’s basically Battleborn without lanes. You roam around killing animals to gain levels, and then a big thing pops up and you try to kill it or capture it or something. Where Battleborn had heart, humor (ok, sometimes but at least it tried), and an actual level designer, this game has none of those things.

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So in short, it’s a sterile, by the numbers, poorly playing, poorly designed, mess.

I’m sure it’ll make millions.

As a bonus, here’s Quiddity commentating with me on the game with some short amount of gameplay. I forgot to switch my mic in Nvidia recording studio or whatever so youdon’t get to hear me being snarky.



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