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Dear Game of Thrones

Dear Game of Thrones, you’re going to close your story eventually, how about you don’t fuck that up?

Don’t make the next to last season the better season.

So Lost, a great show in the scheme of things. Definitely fun and worth a watch, and yet people say that last season wasn’t so good. Honestly the next to last season was more fun, cause Lost was more about giving the viewer questions.


The big point is that the next to last season of Lost was full of good episodes. Strong episodes end up making a TV series. Yes a final season might give you the big answers or character payoffs, but if it doesn’t have those great episodes people will never look on it as well as they might.

Case in point this last season of GoT. Episodes were bizarrely stretched and compressed with some full episodes that felt like nothing really happened. When you start figuring out the next seasons figure them all out together, don’t leave season 7 in the lurch when figuring out 6.

I think of Breaking Bad, where the last season was split in half. Though it had some great moments in the next-to-last year, namely a train robbery episode that just blew everyone’s mind, that final season still felt strong and thought out with developed episodes throughout.

Accept your limitations with characters.

I don’t want to learn a whole new character is important. Honestly the worst part of the show is that you keep adding new people, who are of course important that’s why you’re adding them, only after 5 seasons I’m tired of that. Look, can we all just accept the man who wrote the books is terrible at writing? You’re doing TV, I need faces. While GRRM loves adding new characters to the books, only certain ones end up in the show.


Anyways long story short, at a certain point you have to give us a set of characters that we’ll watch to the end, and the sooner you figure that out the better. At this point I have zero interest in who ends up on the “iron throne.” This feeling isn’t really going away, I don’t think.

Seriously, accept your limitations with characters.

Next season, when the show starts, you guys have like 1 episode to explain to me why I should care about anyone now. If a character can’t really do this at the start of season 6 you might have a big problem on your hands. And I don’t want a whole episode of boring, pointless conversation with a magic spell bringing what’s-his-face back in the last minute. I want to feel like these stories matter. They don’t feel that way any more.


Seriously though Lost did know how to keep us guessing between seasons.

The hatch. The wheel. The other island(was that an end of season one?). The bomb.


Seriously Gamesy (can I call you that you amorphous construct you?) I didn’t get a sense from this last season that you wanted us to come back. It was expected. Obviously we’ll be back next season, you’re Game of Thrones. Well, at one point in time Lost was that show, but they actually put in the effort to keep us seriously interested in the next season.

Or Breaking Bad, with some examples that might spoil a great show so no examples, remember that stuff though? The point is that they weren’t afraid to clearly play with the audience. The death of what’s-his-face, that doesn’t really work the same. After like the first or second season of the show the last book came out and that was part of it. We all knew about that, we knew it was coming.


At this point your show is your own thing. Instead of “hey look Cersei’s angry again. Isn’t that awesome, you’ve never seen that shit.” How about you actually end the season with like something teasing where you want to take the show.

If you really want people to like the show in retrospect look at why people liked Breaking Bad.

That final episode for Breaking Bad was kind of just as silly as some of the stuff from Lost, but people don’t talk up how much they hate that show. In some ways it’s because Breaking Bad was always a more “normal” show and was able to use more basic conventions about raising the stakes. However, the more subtle thing was that the show slowly pulled focus back towards what actually mattered. Lost could never do this, they could never get away with killing characters to bring the real motivation to light. Actualy the final season saw them bringing back older characters.


Breaking Bad was clearly Walte Whites story, and though we saw the other characters who floated-in to their final connection with him, in the final season or so we actually see the show shed most of these exterior voices.

Gamesy, I wouldn’t mind you killing my favorite characters if the living ones story’s amounted to jack shit. Am I really going to be blown away by Sansa Stark’s story next season? Am I? Is it going to connect with stuff that matters? OK, maybe it won’t but can it at least be well written? Eventually you either build some focus or you die in the Game of Game of Thrones.


Fulfill on the promise of the first season.

Yeah if you would of told me that the girl who came out of the fire with the dragons would actually end up being by far the most boring story of the series I wouldn’t of believed you all those years ago. By and large the show feels like it’s good on a technicality. It’s basically the only TV show to really go for it and try to create this large fantasy world.


That’s admirable, for sure, but at this point I feel like you allowed too much excess. Not in the traditional sense, I don’t think you’re costing too much to make or overtly trying to look cool more often than you deserve. I just feel like at this point, the end of season 5, I should be saying to myself: “wow, this is the best show on TV.” Basically most TV shows seem to have really focused and well designed stuff happening at the end of 5 seasons. Hell Supernatural’s 5th season was great. They literally fought the devil.

The point is that Game of Thrones only feels like it’s running on all cylinders at moments. Beyond that, and especially in this last season, it feels like you don’t really know what you’re doing.


Please have some fun.

Really, is it that hard? Buffy had a musical episode. For fuck’s sake why do I have to be the one coming up with this stuff. More singing, more dancing. Maybe an anime episode. Actually it would be pretty awesome if at some point a guy decides to tell a mythological story and it’s all animated.


OK, you don’t have to dance if you don’t want to. But people do joke around in the real world. Like I don’t need tits in every episode of your show, but I’d really like at least one laugh. Or a woman with three tits, that could be great too.

It’s just, like, a lot of your stories were really boring. And kind of pointless, and I think I don’t like the show in general any more. I’ll give you a chance to improve, I know that happens, but if the trend continues I’m giving up. Seriously, fuck you Gamesy, you have fucking dragons on your show. Not cool. Tits can’t replace dragons.


Don’t listen to your fans.

So you know what was actually interesting last season? The rape. It fit with theme and character development. It was sad. It was great. And people on the internet didn’t like it. They don’t mind seeing people get killed, but rape is too much. Not that the rape was the only good thing last season, but if someone counted it on the side of the negatives they weren’t following the same show’s continued address to the gender politics debate.


In the end I have my criticism of the show (you aren’t focused) but that’s just me. Yeah you can continue to meander around all you want but then you’re no better than those shitty books. The people who are trashing the show for elements like the rape are just blowhards. In many ways that scene was part of the continued effort to hold on to the promise of the series as an adult show.

Look, you’re making a show for adults. Please don’t forget that. Actual art is always causing problems for people. But we’re adults, we can handle it. If you want to make something that everyone likes you’re no longer making the real thing. That’s not fitting with this world you’ve developed.


It’s going to get worse before it gets better with the blowhards. That’s just life. It feels like it’s pretty likely before the show is done another book will drop. So as we’ve always expected there will be the compare/contrast the book and the show. As much as the show might be ingratiated to the fans of the books you have to be willing to go your own way.

While I know we won’t have what we did all those years ago, I like to think maybe we could have something more serious in the future Gamesy. We’ve had 5 years to be together now. I know a lot more about you, but you know more about me, too. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll actually put the effort in next season to reaffirm that you’re a great show. I want that season 1 magic going where you try to impress me all the time. Now it seems like you just figure I’m watching no matter what. I’m not your booty call Game of Thrones.

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