I'm really feeling it!
I'm really feeling it!

Dear Video Game Expert: Are You There Gob? It's a-Me, Mario.

Illustration for article titled Dear Video Game Expert: Are You There Gob? Its a-Me, Mario.

DEAR VIDEO GAME EXPERT: I've always been the average joe with a blue collar job. And I've got a call to fix some plumbing issues. Instead I was in front of a castle filled with death traps. But being an honest man with an honest job, I've got to earn my money. I reach the end and instead of finding a plumbing situation, I'm told that the princess is in another castle. I've got to go save her before I get even paid for showing up??? What is this?-MARIO


MARIO: I'm worried about Luigi. I was on the phone with him this morning. And he's upset, he's very upset. You haven't included him in the business at all. He's your older brother. You could find a little job for him. Make him feel special. Just the other day I saw Luigi hanging around some koopas. That's not a good crowd, Mario. What have we always said is the most important thing? No, not breakfast. Family. You know what we would be nice? To dedicate the entire year to him. We'll call it the Year of Luigi. And you can let your brother have a turn at saving the princess. Have him start right now. Peach had her heart set on saving the wetlands and she's got herself stranded out there. Tell Luigi to go get her.

DEAR VIDEO GAME EXPERT is a non-syndicated joke that provides common sense advice about video games from a youthful perspective. Track my Twitter behavior on Twitter @marshnaylor

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