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Dear Video Game Expert: Because Games

Illustration for article titled Dear Video Game Expert: Because Games

DEAR VIDEO GAME EXPERT: Why are there all these useless trinkets hidden in hard to get places? Who put them there? Why am I compelled to collect them?- CHERORO


DEAR CHERORO: Our compulsion to collect things comes from our video game history. The first video games involved collecting berries while running from dinosaurs in real-life. Our ancestral reviewers saw these games as a perfect marriage between, "a soul-shattering experience and the need to survive." But as time went on, children's games like hide-and-seek gained unprecedented acclaim among kids. Following the trend, game inventors added hard to find things, like dead bodies or spousal infidelity, to these real-life video games for adults to enjoy. Many adults loved this new game mechanic, especially because they could collect jail time without parole. More recently, thanks to hi-tech technology, video gaming has gone totally digital. Anyone can collect hard to get things without ever exposing themselves to undue psychological damage, incarceration, or death.

DEAR VIDEO GAME EXPERT is a non-syndicated joke that provides commonly uncommon common sense advice about video games from a youthful perspective. Track my Twitter behavior on Twitter @marshnaylor

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