I'm really feeling it!

1. The NX

The NX will tank in the west, but sales in Japan will keep Nintendo afloat. Status quo maintained. Nintendo will continue their campaign of being your dad by not even allowing the NX to connect to WiFi, but will include a microphone in the box so that you can play Mario Sings. There will be a 3d printer attachment so you can print out pokemon that you make using the other bundled attachments (50$ per body piece template).


2. Microsoft

Holo lens will be huge and the lawnmower man will be real. He’s coming to get you. What’s weird is that The Lawnmower Man by Stephen King had very little to do with that movie. Did anyone even SEE that movie? Anyway. Minecraft will continue to keep MS financially viable while they continue to push Windows Phone 2.0 on everyone. “It’s Good This Time! Seriously!” is their tagline. Xbox one sales will match PS4 sales as everyone realizes that both are basically the exact same system and have very few exclusives. Also the hivemind will forget alllll about the scariness which was “XBOX ALWAYS ON AND WATCHING YOU PEE” fiasco.


3. PS+

Will continue to poop out crappy indie games no one wants for the “free game of the month” which will help MS come dead even in sales as their service is quite good in comparison. It will also continue being a steady 50 bucks and never going on sale now that they have you by the cajones. PS Now will finally die because who the everliving F2-04399-039sf thought that was a good idea? Seriously. I could pay 20 dollars to stream game X or I could go buy it at gamestop for 4. HRMMMMM TOUGH DECISION. Also Sony will start trimming some of the fat - Vita support is already gone, but let’s put the nail in the coffin and release a 128GB vita memory card for 500 dollars. Sony understands its customers and how to release successful portable gaming hardware.


4. Steam


Valve in its ongoing quest to completely obliterate the one thing that makes it unique (that you’re playing on a PC, not a console) will release Steam Box v2 designed by Frank Gehry. It will be a colossal hit because it will release alongside HL3 (playable only on Steambox). HL3 will be about the trials and tribulations of getting Gordon Freeman an interspecies date. Gordomanful Boyfriend plush Kickstarters will flourish.

5. Indie Backlash


Indie games will become the new AAA games. People will push back on the endless stream of crapware that floods PSN, XBL, Steam Greenlight, and so on. Computer programmers will quit and join a new hacking squad named “GRODAM FR33M5n” which will be hellbent on bringing down Edward Snowden’s twitter account. New memes will evolve since 2015 gave us next to nothing except “it’s actually about ethics in video games journalism,” and I used that one so much that people on twitter that I don’t even know were yelling at me. I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE, IM SORRY.

What do you think? DEAD ON? Probably, but let’s hear your predictions.

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