FUN STORMER™! It’s a whirlwind of entertainment! Also, fun. I should know, considering I’m the one who designed it in middle school.
I found these highly detailed blueprints in an old box of drawings and writing pieces that I spotted while rummaging around my parents house. The Fun Stormer is far from the first console I designed growing up, but it may be one of my last. Let’s take a look at some of these terribly interesting and revolutionary outlines for the system that would have taken the world by storm, and just might in the future.
First we have the system itself.
As you can see, it looks like a much flatter version if the GameCube, but features SIX, count’em SIX, controller ports. For those of you with more than three friends but less six, this is a huge deal. There’s a hole in the top for your cartridge and some fancy looking vents so it could cool off during some seriously heated game play. The highly stylized FS rain drop logo sits on top and in the front, so you always know what you’re playing, baby.
The bottom had some sensible rubber discs for grip, while the back featured a power plug in, an AV output and some other port that was surely planned to incorporate some amazing add on in the distant future. Virtual Reality? Vitality sensor? Bongo controller? Probably all of them.
Then you have the Fun Storm controller, the pure embodiment of comfort and accessibility that even god himself couldn’t have predicted.
Oh wait, is that a retractable screen that comes out the top?! Yes. Yes it is. In fact that was one of the features all my systems had. Even the handheld ones that already had a screen, had ANOTHER screen that came out the top. Genius.
The button layout, for those of you who don’t have eyes, spells out the word STORM. Something Ouya tried to copy with their design, and we all know what happened to them. Was it me and my team of lawyers who ruined their system? I have no comment at this time.
Aside from that you can see the classic start button, as well as a joystick and D-pad. Early plans called for GameCube like shoulder buttons, but they were replaced in the early stages with these bad boys.
And while they may look like large black boxes settled between two very far apart butt cheeks I can assure you they are not. They are top of the line hypersensitive triggers, with a million and one uses. What a sight to behold.
As I mentioned above, the Fun Stormer (which will be at E3 2016 if everything works out) uses cartridges instead of discs. They are super durable and come with a built in location chip so you can find them if you ever loan them out to your untrustworthy friends who lose things. I’m looking at you, Dave.
This prototype build features a game I created with a buddy called Cool Shooters. It was a zany FPS that had players controlling whacky characters who fought with fire hoses, hot dog guns, and other unconventional weapons. There was definitely a gun that shot CDs, so it looks like I’m going to have to sue Sunset Overdrive as well. What a shame.
Lastly we have the logo.
You may think that in my excitement at creating the perfect logo I made the juvenile mistake of spelling the system as “Fun Stomer”. Wrong. That was just another name I was toying with, and has nothing to do with a crippling spelling issue I deal with to this day. Notice the gratuitous use of lightening in the logo to really push the fact that people were going to be struck by this systems downright baditude.
The classic FS logo can also be seen here in the rain drop design, seen above on the system. Even before I married a graphic designer it seems I had that career down. Black, white, and blue are the essence of all that is gaming and storming. *lightning strike*
For more info on the Fun Stormer feel free to hit up our newly launched Kickstormer page. If you think you designed a better console as a kid I’d love to see it and
steal your ideas hear all the details.
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@SuperBentendo. He actually still attends middle school, only now he’s a teacher.