I'm really feeling it!

Last night I did something pretty crazy. I made an avatar on FF14 that looks like me. It's pretty ugly. I'll post some pictures some other time when I'm not at work.

I don't know why I play female avatars. Maybe I do and maybe I play them for the wrong reasons.


Let's dissect.

If you pressed me long and hard (no jokes) about why I probably would have said, "I identify more with females than males." This is a stupid comment to make. I'm not trans, I'm not gay, or bisexual even. I have no problem with people who are. The reason that it is a stupid comment to make is that it exposes my own innate sexism.

Groan. I'll keep it short.

So why? I think because when I say I could identify more with females, I mean I can identify with an image of female that is basically, the hooker with the heart of gold. It's a trope, a stereotype. I believe that I'm rough around the edges but have a good heart and that this idea of a person is very feminine in nature That's a female thing. I didn't realize this when I made my character last night but I'd sort of been thinking about it a little today.


I'll tell you what, it felt good to make a male character. I didn't make him all ripply body building. I tried to make it as close to me (as an elf) as I could and I immediately liked him more than any other representation of myself that I'd ever made in a game. It was strangely, freeing. And you know what?

He's still a hooker with a heart of gold.

199gil/night. Paid in advance.

*Gravy not included

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