I'm really feeling it!

Godzilla Review: Godzilla vs King Ghidorah!

With interest in Godzilla rising due to the most recent trailer, I thought now would be a good time to do some reviews of some old school Godzilla flicks. I'll be attempting to bring you a review of every Godzilla movie I can get my hands on.

I'm pretty sure the entire message of this movie is "humans are incredibly stupid and we're all doomed because of it". I have hard time believing otherwise, what with all the tremendously dumb decisions our race makes across this whole thing.


In 1992, sci-fi writer Terasawa, researching dinosaurs for his new book, comes across what he believes is proof of Godzilla's origin. On Lagos Island in 1944, a Japanese platoon was saved from american forces by what they claimed was a giant dinosaur. Terasawa believes it may be this very dinosaur that is changed into Godzilla when nuclear testing is done on Lagos Island in 1954.

Meanwhile, what seems to be a UFO lands just outside a large, unnamed Japanese city. Several military craft approach said UFO, and instantly explode. Rather than aliens, the occupants ( all of but one who look American) claim to be time travelers from the 23rd century. They warn that Japan will be destroyed by Godzilla in the future. They announce that their plan is to travel back to 1944, and remove the dinosaur that eventually becomes Godzilla from the area. The humans agree to help.

Dumb Human Decision #1: Trusting people saying they want to save you who just happened to have killed a few of you a few hours earlier. I mean, they don't even bother to apologize.

So, a few people, including the writer for some weird freaking reason, go back to 1944. They witness the dinosaur saving the platoon , then teleport the damn thing into the middle of the ocean elsewhere in the world. In the meantime, the woman time traveler Emmy releases 3 small winged creatures called Dorahs onto the island.


Back to 1992 they go. And lo and behold, the Dorahs were instead hit by the radioactive blast, and fuse into one giant three-headed dragon monster being called King Ghidorah. Who happens to be being controlled by the future people. They then have Ghidorah flying around destroying Japan to stop it from becoming the superpower it is in their time.

For some strange reason, Emmy decides she no longer likes this plan, even though she's been in on it the whole time and released the Dorahs in the first place. She convinces the modern day people the only way to save Japan is to bring back Godzilla.


Dumb Human Decision #2: Thinking that the only thing that could possibly be better than one giant monster destroying your homeland is two. That's sure to help, right?

So, the Japanese government sends out it's super-secret nuclear submarine to find the dinosaur. They find it, and discover that, hey, an earlier wrecked-sub has already made it turn into Godzilla. Before they can get away however, Godzilla destroys the sub and absorbs yet more radiation. He becomes even bigger and more powerful than before due to the modern day nuclear weapons.


The future people soon realize Godzilla has returned, and send Ghidorah after him. One of the best fights I've seen in the series happens here, with both Godzilla and Ghidorah getting a few good hits in. Eventually, Godzilla wins out and blows one of the heads off Ghidorah, and Ghidorah flies away, but not before Godzilla blasts a hole in one of its wings, causing it to crash into the ocean. Meanwhile, Terasawa, Emmy, and an android she's reprogrammed sneak aboard the future people's ship and teleport it to the battleground.

Godzilla, not missing a beat, blasts it instantly. He then heads off towards, where else?, Tokyo. He manages to destroy another city along the way. The humans are unsure of what to do against this new more powerful Godzilla until Emmy comes up with a brilliant plan.


Dumb Human Decision #3: Making plan #3 basically the same plan as plan #2, but reversed.

That's right! Our brilliant idea here is to resurrect Ghidorah! Emmy travels back to the 24th century, and rebuilds Ghidorah as Mecha-Ghidorah. Because mecha-versions of monsters tend to work out so well in these situations.


Emmy flies back in Mecha-Ghidorah, and confronts Godzilla. Another battle ensues, this time ending with Mecha- Ghidorah clamping Godzilla up in a giant, well, clamp. Emmy attempts to fly off with Godzilla, to who knows where, when Godzilla of course blasts her and her Mecha- Ghidorah, causing both monsters to crash into the ocean. A failsafe then sends Emmy back to her own time.

The final scene shows a dead Ghidorah lying atop Godzilla at the bottom of the ocean. A flash of blue, and then suddenly Godzilla stands and roars, before the screen fades to black.


Wait, what the heck was the point of any of that? So Godzilla is still alive, is probably going to head straight back to work on destroying Japan, and now we have absolutely no defense? What the hell kind of ending was that? Did humanity manage to accomplish anything but making their most powerful threat even more powerful?

Humanity in this movie deserves to be wiped out by Godzilla. Bunch of freaking morons.


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