I'm really feeling it!
I'm really feeling it!
Illustration for article titled How Long Will My Friends Wait For The Switch Pro?

With the announcement of the Switch Lite it is now time to obsessively wonder when the Switch “Pro” will be announced. I have 3 definites and 2 maybes among my friends who will be getting the next Switch model. None of them are interested in just a portable Switch. They’re all waiting for the inevitable announcement of whatever the next Switch model will be. Maybe it will be a better handheld screen, better battery life, better processor, better joy-cons, who knows! But they’re all waiting, because it’s been 2+ years and we all know it’s going to happen. So they’re stuck, they’re caught in an indeterminate period of time where they want a Switch, but they want to wait, because why wouldn’t they?


So how long do they wait? Lots of people (let’s be real, it’s almost entirely men, I do it too and it annoys the hell out of me and I try to catch myself but we’re raised to pretend like we know everything when we don’t know crap) have some arbitrary claim about the “most logical” time it will come out. This “logic” nonsense is why Reddit is an idiotic toxic rumor mill of lies and BS. Reality check: no one knows. Will it be at the next corporate board meeting? Thanksgiving/Black Friday? The holidays? Next year? Paired with Animal Crossing? With Zelda BOTW 2? Next month? Next week? 2020? 2021? It will definitely be this year, it will definitely be in the next year, it will definitely be by the end of 2020.

No one knows. Well, except maybe Nintendo. So I don’t know what to tell my friends. I want to play games with them - I want to try their Mario Maker levels, to play Mario Kart online, etc. I want them to enjoy the amazingness that is the Switch. But now they’re just stuck and I keep trying to assure them that it will come out “soon” which is a vague nonsense word that means nothing. I have absolutely no clue when it will come out. Should my friends just give up and buy the current model? You can get a pretty damn good deal on it if you know where to look. I don’t know. They don’t know. No one knows.

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