I'm really feeling it!

Dark Phoenix was not a good movie. It was...less horrible than I thought it would be, but it was so thoroughly mediocre that I’ve already started forgetting most of it a day later.

One thing that stood out to me was just how confusing everything felt because of people’s ages. First of all - James McAvoy who plays Professor X apparently doesn’t age because even though he’s 40 in real life he still looks to be about 23 years old. Shaving his head just makes him look even younger - he’s no Patrick Stewart and he kinda just looks like a child in a skin cap throughout the film.


It also doesn’t help that Michael Fassbender, who actually looks his age but is somehow only two years older than James McAvoy, plays Magneto who is supposed to be roughly the same age as Professor X.

Then there are all the X-Men. Part of the whole plot of the film is that Professor X is the older teacher to the X-Men. He’s betrayed Jean Grey by raising her with lies. But goddamn how many movies now have the X-Men been barely early 20s? How many years has it been? How many X-Men reboots? What is the passage of time in these films? There’s such a vast lack of continuity that watching it adds a whole other dimension of age and time confusion.

And finally there’s Mystique played by Jennifer Lawrence. Mystique is supposed to age a lot slower, but when you add in all these other age issues it just makes it even more confusing. She is supposed to look younger than Professor X because she ages slower, but she looks the same age as him, but both of them are supposed to be the “older ones” leading the X-men, but they all look the same age, and Beast I think is also supposed to be older but also looks the same age. Also...why is Nightcrawler like 14?

Is this a Twilight sequel?

The movie ends up looking like and feeling like a bunch of kids running around with costumes on. It’s not even that the actors were bad, I think it was just really poorly cast. I felt more like I was watching a teen vampire movie than X-Men. I didn’t have high hopes at all, so I’m not disappointed, but I do hope that if Marvel really does start making X-Men movies that they do as good a job casting as they did with the Avengers.

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