Today, on the day our forefathers declared independence from Great Britain, I declared my own independence from the cardboard and plastic boxes that had stayed in my closet for far too long.
It all began one day closely following the release of Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. While I was moderately excited for the game itself, I perhaps had even more interest in the new amiibo figures that were releasing alongside them. I decided to get just one, from my favorite franchise: Link. But when I had freed my figure from its plastic prison, I hesitated to throw it out. I liked the art on the box, so I decided to keep it in my closet. After all, what’s the worst a single box can do?
Time passed, and my amiibo collection steadily grew. At first, I just got a few more, such as Pikachu and Mario. Then, when more released, I got Zelda and Sheik. But as I got more and more of the figures, eventually dedicating myself to collect every single one from Smash Bros. and many others, my box collection became more and more out of hand.
Four years later, I could barely walk into my closet, as amiibo boxes were lined up and stacked from front to back. These dusty boxes had taken over my once clean closet, and I let the problem grow and grow. But today, no more!
I grabbed a trash bag, and got to work. Simply because he was closest to me, Roy was first. Bayonetta, Bowser, Young Link, Wedding Mario, Little Mac, and many, many more followed, until my trash bag was filled to the brim with boxes. But as I was about to throw out my box for Yoshi’s Woolly World, I noticed something surprising: The amiibo was still in its box! Years ago, I had a Green Yarn Yoshi amiibo, and got this game with another one later as a gift, so I kept the second Yoshi in its box. Years passed, and I forgot about its existence. But I sold the Green Yarn Yoshi I had in order to have enough money for a Switch, much to the dismay of the rest of its Yarn Yoshi family. Now, nearly the whole family is back together (except pink). Just don’t tell the other Yoshis that it isn’t the same one!
But this only delayed my struggle. I would then begin my first trial, burying the boxes that I had tried so hard to obtain, and that I had harbored for up to four years. With a grimace on my face, I lifted the trash bag up, and let a shower of amiibo boxes rain down to collect in the basin of the recycling bin. Filled up to about a third, and with only a third of the boxes collected, I was in for still more tribulations.
I trudged back up to my closet twice more, and filled the same trash bag up with yet more boxes that now took the places of their fallen brethren. I emptied them all to be reunited for the final time.
The last box to be placed inside the bin of doom was the first that I ever obtained: Link. At this point, I didn’t have to reach far at all to gently place it down to rest with its fellow boxes. For two weeks, they will remain in their morgue, and then moved away to be recycled. These brothers will get super smashed. But after that, they will be reincarnated into napkins, bottles, or even more amiibo boxes, finding use once more.