For me, anyway. You guys feel free to talk about whatever you want. Seriously, why would I care?

[Note:] This was originally to be posted 12/28, but life prevented that until now. So I’m changing it up a bit since it’s now so close.


Like Nyren and his/her/xyr/their Corner, I, too, have been practising the ancient mystical art of Google-Fu to absorb the chi (information) of every tiny rumor, leak, and tweet related to Nintendo’s next console. Unlike Nyren, I have no idea how to pronounce Nyren.

Is it nigh-ren? Near-en? Knee-rain? N-yearn? I dunno. Once I learn it though, I’m gonna try and take it. Then register it on every social media platform that s/he/ze/they haven’t. It gives off a air of mystery, with a hint of ninjutsu, definitely doesn’t scream “probable fat white guy” like “lightsaber ninja”, that’s for sure. What was I...?

Oh yeah!


Now, I know I’ll sound really stupid come January 12, but I want to make ridiculous predictions of futures that might-have-been while there’s still time, because there’s a pretty good chance that the Switch will disappoint everyone except those who own one (and even they may hate it).


The Switch has received its share attention since the reveal. So whether you think Nintendo’s next hardware is garbage, has no chance to match current gen, are cautiously waiting to see, or already love it and anxiously await the twelfth, if you happen to have a crazy theory that you need to share- let it out.

I’ll share my crazy idea now. It’s All true. All the rumors, Laura Kate Dale’s sources, other-Nintendo-leaker-person-whose-name-is-right-there-but-I-cant-fire-the-synapses-to-remember’s sources, Eurogamer’s sources, SuperMetalDave’s speculations, the Foxconn leak, patent speculation, etc... are all true.


At the conference, Nintendo unveils the base Switch model- the thing we’ve all seen- and some games, but they also unveil a more powerful version if the handheld. Then when they get to the accessories and add-ons, there’s a new, more expensive dock. This dock adds the extra power everyone kept theorizing (that I don’t even know is possible, but it is patented). When combined with the better sku, the Switch is on par with PS4 Pro. Also, they show JoyCons with a WiiU layout and announce a new Ambassador program for Wii U owners.

Now, don’t comment telling me how stupid I am or impossible it is or blah fucking blah. I know, okay? I know. But imagine IF...


So, before the day hits, shoot. Got your own prediction? Some totally sick and original burn? Wanna say how much power doesn’t matter? Something original? Lay it down. Doesn’t matter how pie-in-the-sky it is, say it while you still can!