I'm really feeling it!

Learning All of the Wrong Lessons from Cells at Work!

Anime is a form of art that’s been known to anthropomorphize and personify such non-people things as naval ships, guns, and even old Sega gaming systems. So hey, giving the same treatment to human cellular biology seems downright reasonable in comparison! It could even be...*gasp*...educational???

Day 8 of the 12 Days of Anime 2018

Cells at Work! had the benefit of sheer novelty in its favor this year. Not only did it promise to be the sort of Osmosis Jones-cum-Magic School Bus anime that 90's kids never knew they pined for, but David Production—a.k.a. the anime studio responsible for cerebral prestige drama JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure—inexplicably got the job to bring it to life. It wasn’t certain what would come of this, but at the very least, surely it would be bananas.


I’ve not actually seen it all as of right now (maybe that needs to be fixed), but it’s definitely been entertaining! I’ve even kind of learned some things! To wit:

  • Our bodies undergo catastrophic urban devastation almost constantly, to an extent that would shock even Evangelion.
  • White blood cells frequently wear the blood of their enemies.
  • Please do not—under ANY circumstances—fuck with the macrophage. Don’t do it, man, I’m serious, no, BAD IDEA
  • According to the Law of Big Numbers, it is almost a statistical certainty that at least one of our red blood cells will possess the voice of Kana Hanazawa acting like the biggest gigantic scenery-chewing ham possible.
  • Allergies happen when everybody in the human body becomes a collective bunch of morons.
  • Something called the NK Cell literally has powers straight from JoJo.
  • Turns out that cells are totally shippable! They can even have childhood backstories. Main Red Blood Cell-chan and Main White Blood Cell-kun seem like they’d make a cute pairing, for example.
  • It also turns out that it’s possible to be horny for cellular biology! This Eosinophil can exterminate my parasites all she wants.
  • But of course, because anime eternally continues to be A Mistake™, according to my fiancée after she went on a Cells at Work! doujin excursion, everybody else apparently just wants to fuck the little platelets. Why am I not even surprised.

...these are all things I was supposed to pick up on...Right??

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