I'm really feeling it!

Local Hero Still Beating The Hell Out Of Villain's Dead Body

Described by onlookers as a hulking beast of a man with a physique like a taut braid of anacondas, local hero General McFist was reportedly still beating the hell out of the corpse of a well-known local villain as of press time.

"McFist has been working him over real good for a while," explained Theo Fungi, who said that he had been watching for about 30 minutes, some time after the initial vanquishing occurred.


"Honestly, it was about time someone put an end to this villain's nonsense," said Fungi, nodding with approval at the increasingly bloody scene. "He has been terrorizing our community for years, and we've all just been putting up with it."

From a safe distance, a sizable crowd of observers gathered, with many taking pictures and videos with their cell phones, muttering quietly to each other as not to distract or draw attention.

"Hold on, hold on, I think he might be done," remarked another observer, narrating the events into her phone as McFist paused briefly to unleash a primal scream before resuming the annihilation. "Nope, false alarm. Actually, I think he might even be picking up steam."

The heavy sounds of grunts and thuds seemingly echoed through the afternoon air as General McFist, mysteriously shirtless and with flexed muscles rippling, delivered explosive haymakers into villainous flesh like steel railroad spikes into hard wood.


"I don't know why he's doing it, really. But I like to think he's doing it for all of us," continued Fungi. "There's just so much shit in the world, man. Decent people are always getting screwed."

"And regular guys like me can't do something like this. Just look at McFist – the man's got paws like battering rams. So it just feels kinda good to see something like this happen, you know? He's giving a real bad guy what's coming to him. It feels right."


"It feels like justice."

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