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Los Angeles: The TAY Review

Hello one and all, Furbalicious here with another fantastic review of something totally mundane! Next up - Pencils. Do you really need them or have they been surpassed by pens.

Anyway, as you all probably know, I went to Los Angeles for a week. I went to see my friend Ramen, so we could watch the International 4 (DOTA 2 championships), eat food, and catch up on the good times.


So I'm going to get this out of the way first - I had a great time. My other friend, Amy, showed up on Wednesday and her and I are so similar that I felt kind of bad as I felt like Ramen actually got a little, less attention than he should have after she showed up. But oh well! It was great. With that out of the way, I hate LA. Let's find out why.

  • Cookies. Ramen's wife made us some M & M cookies that were so good. Very large portion sizes. 10/10 would eat again.
  • Old Friends and Acquaintances. Seeing Amy for the first time in about 8 years was fun. Hanging with Ramen prior to was also really great.
  • The Dog. Ramen has a Westie. He's very cute and cleaned my ears out for me several times.
  • Santa Monica. The last time I visited Ramen in LA we stayed at his dad's place in Santa Monica. There was swimming and biking and ocean. I think if I were to go again I'd say let's just go there and stay there again. I love swimming in the ocean. I don't care that I don't have a rockin beach bod like pretty much 100% of LA does. I don't care that I look like a doofus doing handstands in the waves. I don't care that I knock my head and get a laceration from the ocean floor. I love it. It's so much fun that I really give the middle finger to everyone who may or may not have been judging me.
  • The weather. You've heard it before. It's hot but it's not humid. Rochester last night was 76 with 100% humidity. I couldn't sleep because I was drenched in sweat. That doesn't happen in LA. On a 100 degree day (literally) I was sitting outside drinking a beer in jeans and a T Shirt and it was fine.
  • Scenic Vistas. There are some truly beautiful parts of LA. You've just gotta go out towards the coast a bit to find them. Point Dume was really nice (although unswimmable), and all along the cost you get hills and valleys. Right up near the Hollywood sign there's some nice scenery at the "tourist lookout" point.
  • Food. Food in LA is a mixed bag. Some of it is good (El Condor) and some of it is god awful (Paradise Cove which I'll get to later). The one thing it all shares is that it is all RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE.

16 dollars for this burrito and mexicoke but look at how happy I am.

  • The International 4. Kind of a let down that my team didn't win and that final day where they had the GRAND CHAMPIONSHIPS was so one sided as to be not very entertaining. Also I wish VICI gaming had cut their fingernails. They were grossing me out.
  • Pop Singers. Ramen has a music studio which is at a really amazing house. Unfortunately, someone was recording there when I was there so it was unavailable. I really wanted to swim in that pool :(. I did get to at least see it and I picked a lemon from the lemon tree! So it wasn't a total loss.
  • My main complaint with LA is that it seems like (and granted I was only there for a week, four days of which were mostly spent watching DOTA 2) everyone is so busy trying to be cool and trendy that they kind of forgot how to have fun. All activities revolve around eating and drinking. Neither of which am I huge into.
  • My inability to get drunk. There was a series on Lifehacker once where they talked about how to drink or something. I mentioned in the comments that I can't get drunk and people there recommended some ideas. I tried every one while I was in LA. I thought, I'm on vacation! Let's let my hair down woooooo! But nothing worked. The last night there we went to a bar and I had 2 Guiness and 4 gin and tonics. I felt like throwing up. I had some minor motor issues. But that was about it. I didn't feel....anything different. Maybe it's just because I act drunk all the time. Anyway that's not really a knock against LA.
  • Paradise Cove. This is the worst restaurant in LA. Seriously. It's a tourist trap through and through. The drink prices are exorbitant and the drinks themselves are watered down garbage. I ordered a Pina Coloda to get in the beachy mood. It was tasteless. If you don't order food it's 40 dollars just go visit the beach. Otherwise you have to get validated at Paradise Cove. However, you have to order more than drinks in order to get validated. So we ordered some nachos and some fries. The fries were serviceable but about the quality you'd get at Applebees. The nachos were abysmal and way worse than even the "I made it at home in the microwave!" variety. The chips were soggy and unevenly coated although it was just beans from a can and some shredded cheese from a bag - you can tell because it doesn't melt properly due to the cornstarch added to keep the cheese from sticking to itself. Anyway, stay far far away from this place. The portion sizes are HUMONGOUS as well. I guess that's to make you not feel too bad about spending 200 dollars on the dinner.
  • Traffic. It's horrible. Just horrible.
  • Tatami mat sushi. Again, this is not really a knock about anything. Just funny.

I'm not flexible.

I guess I didn't really have a huge issue with LA - it's just too cool for me and very expensive. I would rather play mini golf, and swim like a dork in the ocean than listen to smooth jazz in a smokey bar. So for some people it may be a very nice place, but for me, I like to visit - but I don't think I'd like to live there.

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