Some babies blast their way out of the womb with a single question on their minds:

How can I make that awesome video game I've been thinking about throughout my entire fetal development?

Unfortunately, parents often interfere with these ambitious newborns by making them eat, sleep, and cry constantly when they should be handing them a dev kit. The frustration these babies experience reaches such an excruciating high level they often give up their dream entirely.

If you were one such derailed baby - it's not too late! Get back on track and make that dream game a reality with these indispensable tips!


1. Draw Your Title Screen

Everything that can ever be said about your game should be present in your Title Screen. For example, here's a title screen for a game called Birth Control. You play as a panic-stricken MD tasked with delivering a ton of babies all at once. Don't let one fall or they might suffer irreparable brain damage, and you'll suffer an irreparable lawsuit.


2. Write the Instruction Booklet

Players need to know how to control everything in the game. What button do they press to climb a ladder, or hit a man with a night stick? Be descriptive about that. Birth Control only requires three buttons. The RUN button makes the MD run, and the other buttons do different things. Rest assured, nobody's fingers will get bored of this game!


3. Kickstart It!

Nobody's dreams come true without hard work money. I recommend Kickstarter - an internet website where people trade in their meager paychecks for flimsy promises. Include incentives for supporters to gamble on your passion. A dirty diaper used by a real baby, expired mashed carrot baby food, pregnancy tests are all great prizes. Your only limit is your disgusting imagination.

These three tips may not reverse your parents missteps raising you, but at least your life is not a complete waste now that you're on your way to making that video game of your dreams!


Need game making advice? Follow me on Twitter @marshnaylor