I'm really feeling it!
I'm really feeling it!
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Manly Sides Made by Manly Men for Men and Women: Crab Rangoon Dip

Illustration for article titled Manly Sides Made by Manly Men for Men and Women: Crab Rangoon Dip

Oh, hello there! I didn't see you come into my house completely uninvited again. Make yourselves at home while I go get my Intruder Fists off of my Dresser of Damnation. Yeah, I name my furniture. Big deal. It accents my character. I remember I said something similar to a lady I courted. She was majoring in Boiology, I think? Doesn't matter. I told her, right before I kissed her, 'Here, let me activate your culture'. I am so smooth.


Actually, never mind all that. Since you're here you should partake upon some of this delectable food of the Gods. And not that food of the Gods that will turn mice into demons of the night. Ever see the movie, or read the book? It's crazy. Giant mice doing giant mice things that do not bode too well for things that aren't mice.

Tangent aside, it's time to bake!

Did you know the best part of crab rangoon is the crab ... and the rangoon? Not sure which is which and that confuses me and my abs. But yes, it's true! Though, some of us may not be a fan of the crab and/or rangoon because of the wonton wraps. Have you ever thought to yourself, 'ya know, I really want to like crab rangoon, but I could really live without the wonton wraps'? Sure you have! Well, now you can, because we are removing them altogether with the power of muscles and Bowflex!



  • Crab meat
  • Or Rangoon meat
  • Resolve
  • Cream cheese
  • Garlic
  • A bunch of other stuff
  • Trust


  • Procure Crab and/or Rangoon meat at all costs
  • Preheat muscles to 450 degrees
  • Mix ingredients together in a blinding fury
  • Anger Poseidon
  • Flex rigorously at the concoction
  • Consume the Crab Rangoon

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. A glorious side to go with something else you want it eat. Preferably it is something tasty and innocent, as that always make for a good main dish, and makes my muscles ripple in joy.


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