I'm really feeling it!

Hello everyone, here's TheUnfathomableTruth again, being that odd kid in the corner who sat there watching and thinking about stuff instead of shoving crayons up his nose. Don't say I didn't warn you about the meandering nature of this specific post, so proceed at your own discretion . . .

There's quite a few things I hate in my life. Actually, I hate a lot about life, but now is not the time nor place to discuss that, so I'll spare you the headache. Right now, I'm talking about my horrible incapacity to sleep sometimes. I know, I know "quit whining about it TUT, just grab some pills and go to sleep, gosh". But I guess I'm sort of a masochist about it, and would rather go on without help. I dunno. I've always been stubborn. Anyway, I brought that up because I typed all of this at 4 in the morning, and probably won't sleep for the rest of the night/day. Actually, hold on, I need to take care of something . . .


*NOTE TO GBD: If you actually read my Monday Morning posts, please don't edit this one. I kinda want to keep this post as an example of how your brain stops processing information efficiently after going on without sleep for more than 17 hours. It kinda keeps the charm of being delusional and stuff . . . so yea. Thanks.

Back to my post thingy. . . Er, the topic for today is all about dreams and inhibitions, I guess. So, let's deal with the dream thing first.

-"Dude, I had a nightmare where spiders ate me from the inside out"

Fun Fact: I'm just testing you to see if you're paying attention. Not that I have any way of knowing you're reading this at all. Actually, sometimes I question the effectiveness of the read meters on posts. Also the comment ones. It seems to me they have discrepancies sometimes. I ought to sit down and count them one day to see if the meter is accurate. Don't you hate slow days?


So, ever had this dream where you swear it was trying to tell you something? Yea, me neither. Haha, sometimes I'll have recurring dreams, but I have no idea what the hell they mean, if anything at all. One time I dreamed about long-range ballistics missiles, but that's because I was writing an essay about the Cuban Missile Crisis. Fun stuff. I could go off on a tangent about the psychology behind dreams, and the whole process behind them, as well as the countless evolutionary theories that attempt to explain why we dream, but I fear I've already lost a majority of my audience with the intro already. I need to stop going back to that, huh? Moving on. So, spiders. Although I've never dreamed about them eating me alive, they have popped up sometimes, from time to time. I don't really buy the whole "interpretation" thing, since I believe it's entirely subjective to the that person's culture and background experiences, but it's certainly an interesting experience to try and decode stuff. After all, we all wish we were some type of detective, huh? Maybe I should've gone into criminology. It seems entertaining. I wouldn't shoot to become a cop, but being on an investigative task force definitely seems cool. I'm almost sure it's irresponsible to use it to score with the ladies though. Oh yea, off topic again, haha. Honestly, I'm just doing this on purpose at this point, I promise I won't stray off again.

But before that, National Crab Rangoon day is on February the 13th. Doesn't matter if you're not in the U.S., go and get yourself some!


So, my mother says she's had premonitions in the past. She once dreamed she lost her wallet just a day before my father was laid off once. Then there's the time she dreamed about a cousin of mine being pissed off, and supposedly became an alcoholic, only to find out he was deported from Spain due to the recent trouble over there. Now, I've never had something like that, but I have had insight during dreams. Once I even woke up at that time and went on to write my idea down. It never got developed, though. People can't seem to appreciate eugenics nowadays . . . Haha, I'm just messing. But some of my best ideas actually came up through a dream. And that's not uncommon historically either, too. But I'm not sure if I should pursue my creative endeavors. After all, studies show that the most creative people eventually spiral into depression, and I'm not sure I can afford vast quantities of cheap wine and a firearm right now . . . Ok, enough with the grim jokes. I promise, I'm fine, don't worry.

(PS: I'm not even sure if I'm trying to discuss something, or just monologue on this specific topic at this point. If you feel like discussing dreams, go ahead and do so. I'm kinda interested in seeing what you guys have dreamed that had relevance to your life ^^)


-"Dude, you should totally get into guitar. Chicks dig it, you know?"


So, I know I already talked about stuff I wanted to do before I die (and I would post a link to it, but linking to your own posts is lame. Yea, I'm such a badass like that :P), but this technically doesn't count. See, I love music to death as much as the next guy, but I just can't pick up an instrument and play at all. I've tried. I went through two years of piano, like every other kid did, and tried my hand at guitar once. Playing music just isn't my thing. I'm not disciplined like that. And I know myself well enough not to venture into that nightmare again. I mean, if there's at least one person on this planet I know like the palm of my hand, it's me . . . because you know, it's my own goddamn palm I'm comparing to- You get the point. Stuff like guitar, studying, working and a lot of stuff I don't do on my own accord, I can't do without having at least some competition. And being a loner all your life doesn't help in that sense at all.

So what the hell am I to do? "Well, you could just learn by yourself. Pick up a book, or watch stuff on Youtube. You have the resources" Yea, well, no. I could do that, but that's not how I function. I could literally pick up an encyclopedia (Or read Wikipedia, if you're too young to know what the former is. Pfft, as if I'm that old) and read away, just absorbing the knowledge. And I do, which is why I have so much random stuff to reference and talk about. But the learning process involved in picking up an instrument is different. It's quite similar to learning a new language . . . Which is an endeavor I've also abandoned due to the lack of competition or camaraderie in the classroom. And I hate being competitive, really. I mean, sure, I perform exceptionally when I feel pumped, but I need to feel the competition in order to progress. Otherwise, I'll just sit there and breathe manually, living without a single care in the world. But I can't, because lately (it started about a week ago), whenever I listen to my music, I feel this sudden urge to want to be able to do something like that.

*Featured, my inspiration

Hahaha, nah. Monumental Torment is nice, but the guitar work doesn't really push me to do something. So, what do I do? Do I waste some good money pursuing a "dream" I know I'll drop within a week, or just go on and think about what could've been? Actually, the answer is neither. I don't mope about what could've been, I accept the situation and move on, nor will I buy a guitar and give it a try. Why? That's just the way I am.


But I hope I at least made you think about what motivates people to do the things they do, right? I mean, the other day I was listening to NPR. Some nun was going on about how she felt that nuclear plants and testing areas were too dangerous to be done. And the group had allegedly resorted to breaking into the plants and protesting inside, doing hunger strikes and the likes. I think she had cancer too, and she said that if she died while trying, she was ok with it. I couldn't help but think of how pointless it seemed to me (But don't worry, I think everything is pointless. More on that later, I guess), followed by respect for her, since she would've held her ground to the end. Which is something I can admire in someone, regardless of what they pushed for.

I dunno, I can't comprehend how anyone would ever be that motivated. Nor why people say and do the things they do. But the reason I stop to think about these things is because, well, the world makes a bit more sense if you try to understand people. I know, it's cliche. But hey, if we knew any better, we probably would've progressed greatly as a species by now, you know?


And for my Monday Metal Madness, here's what I listened to while writing this whole thing. I know I posted a song by them, I think twice now, but it's my favorite album by them, so be quiet :P

NOTE: Assuming I fall asleep right now, I won't reply until 12:00 EDT, or so. The same goes for my Open Forum, which will pop up soon . . . Dyram, deal with it.

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