I'm really feeling it!
I'm really feeling it!
Illustration for article titled Missing Woman Found Playing iNeko Atsume/i

ASHLAND – After being reported missing by her employer, police say that local woman Marie Tran was found today, at home, caring for hundreds of Neko Atsume cats across numerous devices.

In an interview with authorities, Tran explained that she only wanted to complete the game’s Catbook at first. Over time, as she developed attachments to specific cats, the need to capture their visits and keep them coming back became increasingly important.


“I only feed my cats the deluxe tuna bitz and sashimi,” noted the thirty-year-old government employee. “Even then, Peaches barely ever visits.”

“I’ve only seen her three times.”

According to police, although they are wary of the situation, the cats appear to be in good health. “They’ve got it all – the cat metropolis, the cardboard choo-choo, assorted luxury pillows.”

“There is a powerful, unpleasant odor at the residence, but that appears to be coming from the owner.”

Tran stated that in her two weeks of absence from work – during which she ignored all efforts to be reached and noticeably scaled back hygiene – she attended to pressing concerns like Tubbs driving away the other cats as well as to collecting beloved mementos from her pets.


“Can I show you something? Bob the Cat brought me this beautiful antique compass,” said Tran, smelling just incapacitating while pointing out the item on a screen. “Isn’t he a good cat?”

Unlike Peaches,” she added quickly. “That princess hasn’t given me anything.”

Although Tran admits she has lost count of exactly how many cats are under her care, she says that multiple devices are necessary to make sure she can see her favorite cats often.


“I MISSED PEACHES AGAIN?!” screamed Tran, shaking one of her tablets furiously. “GAHHH WHY DID I TAKE THAT NAP?”

@TheMushroomNews + themushroomnews@gmail

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