If you’ve been following my posts for the last few days, you know that I’m drawing inspiration from some old journals I found when I was much (MUCH) younger- stuff like a list of which bad guys were best, or what my Pokémon team looked like. There are some cheat codes, and a ton of stuff without any context at all, which is fun to try and decipher.

The bit I want to write about today is a list that I’m still trying to wrap my mind around, and another shorter/ more debatable one.

Top Video-Game Females

Huh.

What was I going for here? It’s interesting because it’s not Top Ten Video Game Females I Have A Crush On or Top Ten Video Game Women Who Are Better Than Their Male Counterparts or something. If I’d written this today I certainly wouldn’t use “females”- I’d call them women (occasionally I see how close I was to growing up a neckbeard and wince). Even then, I don’t know that I’d “rate” them; it’s not Miss America, right?

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That said, let’s dive into this.

Number one makes sense for many reasons. As I kid, Ocarina of Time was my favorite game, bar none. Though I’m not sure why Impa is in here too. Did I combine Impa and Shiek in my mind? Impa is fucking rad, don’t get me wrong- just not sure how she and Zelda are the same person.

Peach at two, again, makes a kind of sense. I played a ton of Mario and I understood the importance of Peach in the Nintendo universe. She was also my go-to in Mario Kart, if I wasn’t rolling with Bowser in battle mode.

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I had to look up who Princess Katia was. If you can remember her off the top of your head, you win so many internet points. She’s from an old GameCube game called Lost Kingdoms, an action-RPG that used a card battling system that I absolutely loved. She was a badass and I played that game all the time- put her on the list.

Next up is basically all the women from Golden Sun, an RPG series that my friends and I were obsessed with. Again- why aren’t they separated out? Treated as individuals? I would really love to know what was going through my head when I was jotting this list down. I wasn’t trying to hit a specific number so I could have just as easily make each character an individual entry. Who can fathom?

Putting Daisy on here makes zero sense to me. The only way I would have known who she was would have been Nintendo Power propaganda... or maybe Mario Tennis. But hey, she’s on here so let’s celebrate that.

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I had to do some mad Google-fu to figure out who the hell Gurd is (spoiler alert: I Googled “Gurd video game character” and image searched until something clicked in the recesses of my memory). She didn’t show up right away, though I did get “50 Hottest Video Game Characters” so that’s something. Go here and scroll down find Gurd- I love that somehow she made an impression on me. Bring on the old batty witches! Also in my Googling I found that Lost Kingdoms was developed by From Software. Bloodborne was the best gaming experience I’ve had in the last several years, and it kind of blows my mind that I’d been exposed to From Software from a developmental age. I love it.

Dixie Kong and Tiny Kong are easily the best parts of heir respective games. Keep ‘em on the list.

I’m surprised that Samus is so low on here- but then again, I was probably only going off of Super Smash Bros. and maybe Metroid Prime. I didn’t have a lot of Metroid experience growing up, just knew that Samus was supposed to be this awesome bounty hunter who was also a woman. Again, that Nintendo Power propaganda is strong so putting her on here is likely a result of obligation.

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Last up is Rouge the bat from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle, and I know the only reason she’s on here is because of boobs and innuendo-laced voice acting. So. There’s that.

I also kind of love the little secondary list on the bottom of the page- the incongruity of Top Secondary Characters is kind of delicious. Also, I guess I was dunking on Luigi before it was cool.

So there we have it. Another little window into the past that reveals what I was playing and maybe a little of my mindset at the time.