I'm really feeling it!

My Dogs Eat Better Than Me

This came fresh from the oven less than a few hours ago. It's dog food. Dog food made by a person using only human ingredients (well, ingredients humans use in their recipes — the recipe itself does not call for human).

About 5 months ago, one of my dogs (the one I've used in my avatar since ... forever) became deathly ill. He had been sick for at least a couple of years (it all started when he hacked up a blood-clot). Vet after vet can't figure out what's wrong with him. But whatever it is, is causing the back half of his body to basically turn to skin and bones (while his front half continues looking normal). Even so, he's still a beautiful dog.


Dog food — whether prescribed, bagged or made by a crazy person claiming to be a "dog Dietician" and wanting to take her work to "Animal Planet") was making him worse. It was getting to the point where he couldn't even go on walks (his favorite thing in the world — next to sitting on my lap as I play through Resident Evil 4 for the 40th time). So I did what the Veterinarians (and that crazy Animal Planet reality-show star wanna-be) told me not to do: Started making him his meals.

Of course that meant making my other dog her meals (it's a "grass is always greener" thing with those two). So now I'm making that big, beautiful slab of meat every 3 days. Through trial and error (probably more error); I've gotten so good at it that I'm receiving feedback from humans who have had a piece of it themselves, such as, "Best damn meat loaf I've ever had," "those are some lucky dogs! Humans don't eat this good." and, "I'm a fucking Vegan! You knew I was a fucking Vegan so why would you bring me a plate of this shit?!? Quit smiling! It is not funny! Do you know the damage done to your body and to the environment by consuming meat? Are you laughing at me now? Oh, fuck you!")

But the best part of this meatloaf for dogs (other than the reality show — "Cooking for Canines" — I plan to star in and produce on Animal Planet)? It has allowed my dog to walk again. He actually takes me on walks as long as a mile per day, before the falling and the exhaustion kicks in. With all the prescription foods the vets gave, he could hardly make it to the end of the driveway.

I'm not deluding myself. I realize he turned 12 on July 12th, making him 84 in "people years" (think how old we'd all be in "oak tree years"). But this magical loaf of meat has given me an extra half year with him. And I love this dog. Even more than he loves my meatloaf.


And it gave us one last Fourth of July together and let him watch the Fireworks, just once more. And that gave me this story and picture to share with all of you ...


On July 12th, he turned 12 years old (84 in people years!).

Share This Story

Get our newsletter