A lot of people have a deeply personal connection to their gaming handle. Maybe it comes from their favorite game, or from a long-cherished memory with a close friend. It could be an important person in their lives, or a joke that never fails to make them laugh. There are infinite possibilities when selecting an online moniker. So many choices, and I settled on a fat, murderous river beast.

I could defend my choice with a lot of balderdash about how hippos have always been my favorite animal, or how their excessive, senseless aggression matches my playstyle in competitive games. Anything can sound reasonable if you devote enough time to explaining it. But today, I received the ultimate indication that my username of choice was firmly on the side of goofy ridiculousness:

I have no regrets.