I saw this game pop up in my Steam recommendations a few months ago, but I hesitated to buy it because it was in early access. Fast forward to the present and it went on sale for $10. So I said “screw it” and bought it, then proceeded to patch it to uncensor the game because it’s ridiculous that it was forced to be censored in the first place. So what did I learn from playing this game?

Well, I will never get that $10 back. I played it way too long, and I’m ashamed of myself. Let me explain why I went past the 2 hours return mark:

House Party is all about you, playing as a dude, showing up at a random party with a disproportionate amount of hot female party-goers. Your goal? Get into their pants. In order to do so, you have to fulfill certain requirements. One character requires you to get her some rum, which you can only do by doing a favor for the guy hoarding all the alcohol so people don’t drink. Another requires you to send fake dare text messages to loosen her up to the idea.

I won’t lie, the writing is not the greatest though the acting isn’t too bad. The graphics are 50/50 and the animations definitely need work(especially the sex.), and that’s to say nothing of the AI pathing which ends with some characters spinning around in circles or being unable to pass each other because there’s so little space.

And I spent seven hours playing this game. Why? Because I’m a completionist and was honestly curious how every story path ended(I mean, they’re all sex or some variation on that(Except for two.)). I applaud the developers for going against the grain and making a game that definitely wouldn’t fly on home consoles due to probably getting slapped with an AO rating. I want more games that aren’t ashamed to show uncensored sex and nether regions. That being said, House Party will not go down in history as the best game of this type. I’ve seen better sex animations come out of Source Filmmaker, and with far better writing at that.

Now, to be fair to this game, it IS still in early access with an update scheduled to come out soon. The developers have managed to get motion captured animations which hopefully means they’ll look a lot better, they’re working on fixing bugs, and adding more guests to the party for you to interact with. Who knows, perhaps this game will actually be worth playing again in the future when it finally gets out of early access(if that ever happens.), all I know is that I probably won’t play it again for quite some time because it isn’t even titillating. There is literally nothing redeemable about this game. And the writing doesn’t even hide the fact that this is a male power fantasy. Those who follow my articles know that I almost never call something that, or rail against people who do, but in this case I’ll make an exception because this is a game concept that could give you the option to choose your gender and thus your romanceable partners and reach a wider audience without giving up its core, and that could be written in such a way to make everything more meaningful. But it’s clear from start to finish that the goal is to get the player, who is assumed to be male, to bang everyone at the party because they’re such a hot stud and everyone else is an idiot.

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Perhaps some day we’ll get a game with sex in it that isn’t completely dumb and possibly with a bigger budget(but not too big.).