Back when Fire Emblem Heroes first came out, I was fairly invested in the game. I found its shallower take on Fire Emblem strategy to be pretty mindlessly engaging, something I could easily play in two-minute sessions while in line at the grocery store, or if a computer program at school was being particularly slow. My problem with it, and the reason I gave it up after about a month, was that I could not pull anything good from its gacha system. I’m willing to tolerate unlucky streaks, but I summoned around sixty times without seeing a single five-star hero, an occurrence that supposedly happens 6% of the time. If you do the math, I was statistically overdue for one threefold. So I quit, discouraged by the lack of Lucina in my life.

Fast forward to today, when I had the silly idea to redownload the game. Inspired by Thatsmapizza’s luck earlier this week, I figured I’d give the game another shot with the orbs you get by starting from scratch. To my amazement, the game now gives you a free five-star hero right out of the gate! And Lucina is an option, no less! “Okay,” I thought, “Maybe this game is worth another shot.” If that had been the extent of my experience, I might have gotten out with just a few hours of mild amusement. But that wasn’t how it went down.

Yeah these are both going to be bigass screenshots, sorry.

I pulled a proper five-star hero almost immediately with one of the free summons you are given at the beginning of the game. It was some guy named Sigurd. I didn’t know the character, but who cares? I finally had some good luck! After further investigation I found out that the drop rate for 5-stars with that summoning focus was actually 8%, but that didn’t dampen my spirits. I planned to replay the game with my shiny new heroes, right after I used up the rest of my orbs and free summons.

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That’s when I got the big one. To my utter disbelief, I pulled Tropical Beauty Camilla from the appropriately named “A Sketchy Summer” summoning focus. Holy shit. This was a proper pull, with no freebies or increased drop rates. On top of that, it was a character that I loved (despite her hilarious oversexualization, even without the bikini). At that point I was hooked. I wanted to go after some of the other summer heroes, before the limited-time focuses were gone. Now I’m back to where I was at launch, grinding for orbs and praying for good luck.

That’s the risk with these gacha games, I suppose. I’m not sure what I expected. I did the same thing with Pokémon cards earlier this year. “I’ll just buy a couple packs,” I said. “It’ll just be a fun nostalgia trip,” I said. I was just as wrong today as I was back then. Now there is no escape for me. Pray for me friends, I doubt I’ll be climbing out of this hole any time soon.