I'm really feeling it!
I'm really feeling it!
Illustration for article titled Oh Lord, What Have I Done?em/em

Back when Fire Emblem Heroes first came out, I was fairly invested in the game. I found its shallower take on Fire Emblem strategy to be pretty mindlessly engaging, something I could easily play in two-minute sessions while in line at the grocery store, or if a computer program at school was being particularly slow. My problem with it, and the reason I gave it up after about a month, was that I could not pull anything good from its gacha system. I’m willing to tolerate unlucky streaks, but I summoned around sixty times without seeing a single five-star hero, an occurrence that supposedly happens 6% of the time. If you do the math, I was statistically overdue for one threefold. So I quit, discouraged by the lack of Lucina in my life.

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Fast forward to today, when I had the silly idea to redownload the game. Inspired by Thatsmapizza’s luck earlier this week, I figured I’d give the game another shot with the orbs you get by starting from scratch. To my amazement, the game now gives you a free five-star hero right out of the gate! And Lucina is an option, no less! “Okay,” I thought, “Maybe this game is worth another shot.” If that had been the extent of my experience, I might have gotten out with just a few hours of mild amusement. But that wasn’t how it went down.

Yeah these are both going to be bigass screenshots, sorry.
Yeah these are both going to be bigass screenshots, sorry.

I pulled a proper five-star hero almost immediately with one of the free summons you are given at the beginning of the game. It was some guy named Sigurd. I didn’t know the character, but who cares? I finally had some good luck! After further investigation I found out that the drop rate for 5-stars with that summoning focus was actually 8%, but that didn’t dampen my spirits. I planned to replay the game with my shiny new heroes, right after I used up the rest of my orbs and free summons.

Illustration for article titled Oh Lord, What Have I Done?em/em
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That’s when I got the big one. To my utter disbelief, I pulled Tropical Beauty Camilla from the appropriately named “A Sketchy Summer” summoning focus. Holy shit. This was a proper pull, with no freebies or increased drop rates. On top of that, it was a character that I loved (despite her hilarious oversexualization, even without the bikini). At that point I was hooked. I wanted to go after some of the other summer heroes, before the limited-time focuses were gone. Now I’m back to where I was at launch, grinding for orbs and praying for good luck.

That’s the risk with these gacha games, I suppose. I’m not sure what I expected. I did the same thing with Pokémon cards earlier this year. “I’ll just buy a couple packs,” I said. “It’ll just be a fun nostalgia trip,” I said. I was just as wrong today as I was back then. Now there is no escape for me. Pray for me friends, I doubt I’ll be climbing out of this hole any time soon.

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