Welcome back to another (intermittent) edition of P&PTuesTAY!

This week, I thought it would be fun to talk about one of the things that tends to keep people coming back to the table over and over again. No, it's not the snacks, or the pop (what we call soda in Michigan), or even the pizza. It's the stories our groups weave; the battles and adventures we get to experience, and then fully embellish when we retell them to other P&P players. Whether they be good or bad, they are always entertaining!

For this article, I am all about audience participation. So, give us all one good story of an epic win, or conversely, an epic fail. We all have them, so don't be shy! Share with the group! As I am your host, I'll start things off:

One of my absolute favorite characters to play was a half-elven lasher named Kallic. As the name might imply, Kallic was wicked good with a whip, and frequently liked to use the whip as an extension of his hand. From grabbing a mug off the counter of the local inn, to frightening skittish goblins, that whip was Kallic's best offense and the closest thing he had to a true friend.

Toward the end of our campaign, we were battling a vampire lord and his cronies in defense of the small town we had taken to calling our home. We had all spent significant time and gold to turn the town into a kind of keep, with rudimentary walls and thriving businesses. This was OUR home and we were NOT giving it up to these undead fiends.


The battle was pitched and during the fight, our cleric got close to the vampire lord. He roared an oath to his god, and attempted to smite the vampire using a holy artifact collected on an earlier part of the campaign. Neither luck nor his god, however, were with the cleric this day. He stumbled, dropping the gleaming relic to the ground and falling prone at the feet of the vampire lord.

The vampire lord picked up the artifact, held it aloft and began laughing hysterically. The laugh seemed amplified with evil power, and the battle stopped as the combatants all turned to look at the vampire. With a chuckle, he stared at the relic in his hands, and yelled, "You FOOLS! This was your ONLY hope of defeating me, and you left it to the hands of your weakling and his pathetic god! What feeble hope can you possibly have now!?!"

As the rest of the gaming group was taking in their eminent defeat, I scratched off a quick note to the DM, then I made my move. I threw my trusty and battle-worn 20-sided die, it took 2 bounces and landed on 20.


With that, Kallic raised his whip, and with a lightning fast strike, snagged the base of the relic, flipped the relic out of the hands of the vampire lord, and dropped it right into the hands of the prone cleric. "You mean, THAT feeble hope!?", Kallic smugly retorted.

At that instant, the cleric stabbed the base of the relic into the vampire lord's foot and shouted the relic's power word. The relic exploded into a burst of holy sunlight and turned the vampire lord into a puff of ash and dust instantaneously.

As the cloud of ash settled, the tide of the battle turned immediately. Seeing the vampire lord slain, the townsfolk rose to our aid to slay the rest of the vampire's minions. It was a magnificent end to a great campaign, and our adventurers still reside in that small town they fought so bravely to protect.


What about you? What songs of improbable, odds-defying victory do you sing? What dark tales of vorpal fumbles and companion-slaying do YOU have?