Hello TAY, this is Komrade PHC reporting for duty. I received my first-ever Arcade Block upon returning from two weeks in Michigan, along with entirely too many other packages (literally, I walked from the community mailboxes to my house with a stack of bags and boxes as tall as the distance from my belly button to my eye line). I'll do a mini-review of the other stuff I happened to receive at the end of this article, but for now, let's talk about the Arcade Block.

For those unaware of Loot Crate, Nerd Block, Arcade Block and other similar-such blind boxes, Arcade Block is a monthly subscription plan where you are shipped a box of products for a monthly fee of roughly $20-$40 (I believe my Arcade Block comes to $35-something after tax and shipping, and an additional $2.50 fee for size XXL t-shirts). The products sometimes follow a specific theme, or sometimes they're a hodgepodge of random products with a total retail value much higher than the cost of the subscription.

Trouble is, this month's Arcade Block was, in my opinion, just terrible. With the exception of probably the cheapest thing in the box, I really am not happy with any of these products... But based on previous Arcade Blocks, that's likely just because I'm not particularly fond of the franchises and products they chose to include in this box. I'll detail them below:

Assassin's Creed Funko Pop Super-Deformed Figure:

Advertisement

I fucking hate these Funko Pop things. Like. Absolutely despise them. It was the one product I was hoping to god I'd never get in one of these blind boxes, but alas, I got one. The subject matter (Ass Creed) is pretty cool, I like the franchise... But god almighty, can I re-emphasize how much I fucking hate these Funko Pop things? They're just hideous. They're ugly, they're creepy, they don't look cool on a shelf... They serve no purpose. They are just awful. It's like some marketing dude saw the brony fad and asked, "Shit, can we market Cabbage Patch Kids to 30-year-old men too?" I hate it. -666/10. Burn it in hell.

Super Mario T-Shirt

Advertisement


I really like that these boxes include t-shirts. Some of them are worth wearing in public, and even in the worst case scenario, a comfy, oversized t-shirt is great to sweat in, throw on after work, or just use as an oil rag. This particular design is probably going to wind up as a sponge for cat pee. I really don't like it at all. What are they going for here? Is this a mash-up with some franchise I'm not aware of? I'm sure there's someone out there that is going to love both Super Mario and anatomical art, and that person is going to love this shirt... But it definitely isn't for me. But to be fair, I also don't like Mario merchandise at all. If you like this, let me know in the comments. 4/10

DOTA 2 Convertible Bandana:

Advertisement

I have absolutely no awareness of DOTA 2 as a franchise, and it seems like an oddly obscure choice to include here... But I'll give credit where it's due, this is a nice product. It's basically a sack made of that shiny, stretchy fabric and can be worn several ways. It came with a little instruction sheet with some ideas of how to use it, but I think I threw it out. One of them was a pirate cap thingy, one was a balaclava, and there were a lot more. It looks high-quality, it has a practical use... I'll give it a pass. And maybe rob a bank with it. :P 7/10

Team Fortress 2 Wrapping Paper:

Advertisement


When the TF2 Facebook page posted a promo code for Arcade Block and said there would be TF2 merch in this month's box, I got super-excited. Pretty much anything TF2-related would look good in my room. Except this. Wrapping paper? Are you fucking kidding me? I get that Christmas is coming (I don't do Christmas gift-giving, but most people do), so the concept is kinda cute, but... Really? The matroska doll design is cute, but not very well-done. And it's wrapping paper. Just... Why? Loot Crate had a Steam code to download Super Street Fighter 4 Arcade Edition, and Arcade Block has wrapping paper? Kay guys. 2/10

Super Mario Star Squishy Thing:

Advertisement

This is one of those squishy foam things. Not really much else to say. I needed a stress ball though, and this works great for that. Durable material, not too tacky-looking... I quite like this. Probably the highlight of this month's box, even if it's the cheapest thing in it. This is exactly the kind of thing I'd want for a low-end product to pad out the box with. It serves that purpose admirably. 10/10

Minecraft Hangers Blindbag:

Advertisement














Just look at it. That's what I got in a Minecraft blindbag thing. It is currently in the garbage. No practical use, not aesthetically appealing, not from a franchise I care about. Wait, these things retail for $10?! -0/10.

The Verdict:

This month's Arcade Block sucked. I strangely still think it's worth the price of admission, if not for the surprise factor alone, but if I get another box with products this unimpressive, I'll probably cancel and consider taking my business elsewhere. If you like the stuff in here, I definitely suggest the Arcade Block. If you like the idea of getting some random gaming merch that you can distribute out to friends or just mindlessly amass like a Walton (my new word for "hoarder"), this is definitely for you. I'll definitely do another one of these reviews next month during my Christmas break, and we'll see how that one goes! :3

Advertisement

Things I Lost In The Fire Got In The Mail:

I'm quite the fiend for online shopping, and having a bit of extra income from having my expenses covered while working away from home enabled me to order some pretty neat stuff.

Skyrim Alduin's Wall Hoodie -
This is a really nice design for a casual hoodie. Very high-quality, fits great... And it was marked down to $20 from $60 - probably because it's not easily recognizable as a Skyrim product.

Advertisement

Old Navy Men's Canvas Jacket -
Another great clothing product. It's a leather-brown canvas jacket for the spring or fall that completely blocks out the wind. I love it.

Games~! -
Got Arcus Spirits, Fire Emblem (GBA), Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi, Pokemon Ruby Tuesday, Ass Creed Black Flag and Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate Arcade Edition Hyper-Remix 2008. No idea when I will have time to actually play these. I need to not buy games anymore.

Marth Amiibo -
How the fuck did I get a Marth Amiibo? Why do I have it?

Bluetooth Keypad -
For my tablet, so I can lay my ass in bed, hook my tablet up to the TV, watch Netflix and not worry about getting up. :3 Still waiting on the mouse though.

Advertisement

OH. And I'll be doing my livestream/commentary of some shitty Mario cartoons tonight, probably. My internet cable was cut on Thursday while a stump was removed in my front yard. :D But it's back now.